hating the weirdness

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2007
hating the weirdness
28
Thu, 10-25-2007 - 7:41pm

for the past few years, me and a group of friends (current ex included) would mass

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2005
Thu, 10-25-2007 - 8:04pm

It's like being in AA or something. I've had 25 days of NC. We love you MDRSFR! :) It's so tough. Just the not knowing. I don't have any urges to contact, but I guess secretly (or not so secretly as i admit it) that I would have wished he would have contacted me. I feel a bit "unspecial." And this from a person whom I dated for five years and we had a really good, healthy relationship (although he just didn't see me as his Mrs.). I wonder all the time what he is doing an if he's sad and thinking of me.


I'm sorry you feel like you lost some pals. I guess it's just an adjustment.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2007
Thu, 10-25-2007 - 8:14pm

yeah, it's totally addiction-like. congrats on the 25.


i'm having those types of thoughts, too -- "if he called me (even if i don't answer, which will probably be the case) it'd show i'm still on his mind." unproductive, i know, but those thoughts are still here. i also would like the satisfaction of being the one to reject.


luckily, it's not like i've lost our buddies. we just can't talk as openly as we used to.


sad how you never know it's gonna be the last time. :*(

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2007
Thu, 10-25-2007 - 9:28pm

I can relate to all of this - I so wish this meant we were all in the same town/city and could go out together and commiserate instead of just emailing/blogging.


I'm at work now and hate that I know he's gone for the day.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2007
Thu, 10-25-2007 - 10:51pm

i'm finding that my schedule and location make it really hard for me to distract myself by taking on new activities, meeting cool people, reconnecting with people i already know (who have normal schedules), etc. i work the night shift; i'm not out till past midnight.


and where i live isn't the hippest of places. i'm only here for work reasons, and even people i know here who've lived in the area their whole lives rate it questionable at best. big cities are within reach, but again, the schedule factor makes reaching those cool places kinda hard.


i see lots of families and college kids around me. i'm 25, so i can't really relate to those groups.


i get back from so late that by the time i decompress and get a full morning of sleep, it's time to go back to work!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2007
Fri, 10-26-2007 - 2:35pm

it's been nine days since we've spoken. i hate that i wish he would've called (even though i don't plan to answer). i hate that he's now starting to appear in my dreams.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2007
Sun, 10-28-2007 - 7:46pm
It is so strange...i had a dream last night of him...3 to be exact...i woke up and told myself that i would not dream of him again, and i be darned if i didn't do it again! Im on day 8 with no contact...and i had a rough day yesterday and today, but i will get thru it! I have too, disrespecting me is no longer an option.

Hugs,

 

Dbest

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2007
Sun, 10-28-2007 - 8:02pm

i had dreams of him two nights in a row. isn't that the worst? dreams aren't something you can control! (and then, a few nights after, i dreamed of an old FWB whom i haven't seen, talked to or heard about

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2007
Sun, 10-28-2007 - 8:26pm
I completely understand the way you are feeling, but why are you leaving a place you love?

Hugs,

 

Dbest

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2007
Sun, 10-28-2007 - 8:39pm

i'd actually been thinking of moving elsewhere even before the boy drama. it's a lovely complex, but way out of my budget. the breakup pushed my plans

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2007
Mon, 10-29-2007 - 1:55pm

Add another person to this situation. During our first month of living together, we had a lot of problems, but I didn't think it was too big to overcome. After our first 'break-up' a week ago, we had the best week together yet. When I found out on Saturday that he didn't know what he wanted, I kicked him out. He packed all his things and left yesterday. He hugged me, telling me that he didn't mean to hurt me (after months of convincing me that I was 'the one'), and that he doesn't want to do anything to ruin our friendship. I see all the positive qualities in him, but he needs to figure out what he wants on his own. I wish I could be there for him, but I told him that I love him enough to let him go, the door isn't closed, and to call me when he's ready. Meanwhile I have to go on with my life without giving myself false hope that he's coming back.

hugs to you both, lisa

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