haunting past
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haunting past
| Tue, 11-09-2004 - 8:38am |
Hi and I'm new here, and have a complicated situation ... 10 years ago I was physically abused and put the guy in prison for 5 years. I set up a sting with the police and for my protection he didn't know I called 'em - they had an outstanding warrent on him so he was arrested. I did visit him in prison till I met someone else and we broke up. A year ago he contacted me while on medical leave in the Navy, after no contact for 8 years. We started a relationship again and I was really proud of his patriotism and felt he was rehabilitated from the past - then he was sent back to finish his deployment and we communicated thru e-mail mostly. My question is, should he ever find out I was the one to put him in prison? Should I ever tell him? ... it weighs on my mind and I feel like maybe I should set him straight on what really happened, like I'm hiding a terrible dark secret ~ V

The ladies on these boards give excellent advice and I know it will help you, whatever you decide to do.
Be proud of his rehabilitation, if indeed that's what has happened (and IF it happened, it could only have happened with extensive therapy, by the way). Be happy for him if he's gotten his life back on track. But why on earth would you endanger your future to renew a romantic attachment to someone who had so little respect for you and so little understanding of appropriate behavioral boundaries that HE BEAT YOU???? You're asking the wrong question. It's not "do I tell him I busted him," it's "what on earth am I doing renewing a relationship with my abuser?"