Have to Get Tested, VERY Scared
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 11-23-2007 - 11:06am |
Hi everyone,
First of all, let me say that I hope everyone had a very happy Thanksgiving yesterday… I didn’t get a chance to post yesterday because I was so busy watching my 4 year old nephew making sure he didn’t get into anything and cause chaos (like he usually does) hehe, but he's so adorable and fun to be with, I don’t care. He's a bright spot in my life. Whenever I start getting sad or lonely over what's going on with me and the ex, I always know he'll cheer me up.
Anyway, I know most of you saw my previous posts telling about how my now ex basically did everything wrong you can do to another person, had 2 daughters by 2 different women, cheated, how he's addicted to drugs/alcohol, and most recently how he grabbed me by my hair and got in my face after I found women's panties behind his bed (when HE asked me to get something from back there)… Anyway, I'm very proud of myself because yesterday there were a few times during the day (especially being a holiday) that I had the urge to contact him, but didn’t. I thought he would try and contact me but he didn’t (which is a good thing). Originally AFTER our breakup (the day after in fact) he asked me if I wanted to meet up with him at a hotel after our respective family dinners to "get together". In the beginning I was dumb enough to actually say yes!! I cant believe that!! Of course I didn’t meet him and stayed with my family the whole night. I’m glad I did too. I know I would've felt so much worse about myself and it would've done NOTHING but slow my healing process. Also, I found out that there's an SLAA meeting very local to me on Monday nights, which is convenient to me, so I'm going to go to that. Now here's my concern:
Since finding the panties, and not to sound gross, but the last time I "went down", I noticed sort of a "residue" and I don’t know what it was from. I'm very scared now, I know he was most likely up to no good the whole time and I'm not worried about the emotional part, I'll fight and get through that with the help of friends, family, and support groups or whatever therapy I can get, but now I'm just worried about my health! What if he gave me something incurable? It just so happens that I happen to have a gyn appt this Wednesday, but I cant stand the wait! And I cant get in sooner. I'm just PRAYING that I'm ok, at this point that's all I want, just to come out on the other side of this with my health intact and it'll be a HUGE lesson to me. Please everyone, just send some prayers my way.
~J

Hi cherrygirl831,
Here's your previous posts:
What if He Gave Me HIV Since He Cheated?
BF got Physical w/ me over Weekend
3 Days of No Contact and Doing OK....
Sending a prayer your way!!