Have I suffered emotional abuse?
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|Sun, 04-14-2013 - 12:34pm|
Hello everyone. Please advise me and give me your honest opinion. I do suffer with anxiety/depression and I've lived on my own now for 3 yrs aft my son's Father gained custody. I have been through a traumatic experience 3 yrs ago re this as I was left basically in the gutter by my son's Father! I gave up my HA house to give my son's Father another chance and we'd be a family again. However, aft 6 mths, my son's Father did emotionally abuse me and physically did just before he left with my son! It took a year and a half to recover from that trauma and I became a bit of a recluse - never went out socially and suffered anxiety which I am taking meds for at the moment. I did become very confident aft my friend forced me to go out on my b'day. I found myself again and was happy going out as the house I live in now really helped too (private rented).
Last June, I was out with friends and a man asked me to sing with him on karoke. I did. He asked me out but I was nervous and instead went out with a friend but I bumped into him that night. He treated me and my friend to drinks and he mentioned my hair was dry. My friend didn't like that! He mentioned that we would end up together! I thought it a bit strange. Nevertheless I agreed to meet him for a drk. I continued seeing him but a couple of things did upset me but I realised he was a popular person, lively and loved his drink (he's Irish). He said he wanted me to meet his family and said 'welcome to my family'. I got on with them straight away! They welcomed me.
He lives with his Mum and Dad but it's his house and pays mortgage. (His Dad nearly died and their boat got flooded so he asked them to move in with him.) He used to be with a woman (for 6 yrs) who lived with him and his parents but she wanted space away from parents but he couldn't afford two mortgages - she left.
I was invited up for dinner alot and we did have time together even though parents were upstairs. They went away alot and it was good but during Summer months only.
He told me I had no boobs! He was drunk and was looking down. I asked him to apologise but he repeated it! I threw my glass of wine in his face and ran out of house! I was gutted! We split up for 2 wks. Had to meet him as I'd left some keys in his house. Got back with him. Forgave him. Nothing was arranged for a Fri night so I went out on my own and saw some old friends ( 2 chaps who weren't interested in me that way). Just spoke to them both. He came into pub and came up to me and said if he hadn't had come in I would have prob slept with one of them! I walked out and said nothing! We broke up for 4 wks.
He rang me aft 4 wks and asked me to see him at his house for a chat - something had happened to him. I did. He had had his teeth knocked out in a pub and had lost his confidence. I stood by his side for wks not going out just being with him until his teeth were sorted out. Even went to dentist with him!
Xmas last yr was mixed emotions. Xmas Day was brill - just us two. Boxing Day was a total disaster! Drink was to blame. He insulted me, accused me of sw earing at his parents when I didn't. He accused me of being sad when so much had been done for me! I wasn't - I just sat back whilst family photos were being took! He mentioned me not wrking coz I am unwell with anxiety claiming benefits when he has to slog at work etc. His family went upstairs and heard all of this! He didn't stop shouting at me! He was furious! Earlier I asked to speak with him but his Mother said 'No, you can't it's my house!' I said it was Bernie's - that's all I said. I got shouted at for this! I was gutted! Felt so bad. I forgave him for this.
NYEve, he left me and walked home and locked his door. Only coz I wanted to go into anotha pub for one more half! I went to the house and he let me in. We ended up hugging and crying at midnight!