have to see him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
have to see him?
1
Mon, 02-28-2005 - 11:11pm

the no contact thing is totally helping.... we've been broken up for a month, and its been 10 days in a row that we havent talked. of course that seems minor but for me its huge. we talked every day for 2 years.

i feel like i would be completely fine if i never had to see him. but this is a small town. im sooooooo nervous about running into him. it breaks my heart to think about. this saturday night is my birthday and i want to go out to the bar with my friends, the only one in town, so i KNOW he will be there...and its just going to make for an awful night. i cant stand the thought of seeing him. but i dont want to let him control what i do and dont do.

what do i do when i see him? im going to be an emotional mess..esp if ive been drinking. i dont want him to see me upset... but i am NOT ready to see him. i dont feel like being strong and putting on a brave face..its my birthday, it should be fun and natural. i wont be able to stand seeing him talk to other girls...or dancing with other ones...or me not being the first person he comes to say hi to when he shows up....wow.

another thing im soooooooo worried about is him moving on. i feel like i could just die. and i want to puke thinking about him being with someone else.

i dont get when any of this becomes easier. breakups alone are hard enough. small town ones just CANT be done. it seems like every step of the way is impossible.




Edited 3/1/2005 9:30 pm ET ET by keetee27
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: keetee27
Tue, 03-01-2005 - 10:28am

Is there another town nearby that you could go bar hopping at? While yes, you don't want to dictate your social outings to whether or not he will be there, you also admittedly aren't ready to see him. So what's your real option? Cutting off your nose to spite your face, that's what going to this particular bar is at this particular time of the healing process.

"i dont get when any of this becomes easier."

It slowly becomes easier over time. Time brings new experiences, new people into your life, new opinions and outlooks. Time brings perspective. You can't look back on the relationship now and see what you will see months and years from now when you've moved on. You've got to give yourself time. You've got to "do it until" as Dr. Phil always says.