Have you ever broke up with...
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| Tue, 10-30-2007 - 11:04am |
Have you ever broke up with someone you were madly in love with?
I'm starting to feel like my BF just cant give me what I need. On the outside he is everything I could ever want in a man. I love him, his personality, (his looks ;-), etc.
I just think that he may have too much baggage. I have repeatedly tried to make our lines of communication more open...to no avail. He's not as affectionate as I need and stone walls me anytime I want to talk about something that I consider important. He will literally stare at the TV and ignore me no matter what I say. I just don't think he loves me like I love him.
On the other hand we are buds. We have so much fun together and really enjoy being with each other. I just think his baggage (from a previous marriage) really puts a damper on all the things which I consider the glue that will make or break "forever".
We have been together nearly 3 yrs and after the lastest incident, I am feeling ready to throw my hands in the air and give up. I have tried to make him happy, I just dont think he can ever open up like I need him to.
Have any of you been through something similar? Its tough because I know that if we could get past this hurdle, we could have an amazing life together...but I can't do it on my own.

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I feel for you because I myself ended up in the same situation.
I think you're right. I don't need to storm out of the house to prove a point.
I am going to start preparing myself for a move. I am going to stash some cash, look around for places to move to and if he is unwilling to go to counseling with me (I have no idea how I am going to ask that) then I will go on my own.
That will give me time to get my ducks in a row, and it will give him time to seriously think about what this is worth to him. I have decided that I will not initiate any more conversation with him via email, IM, in person no matter...if he wants to "talk" he can make the big boy move to say something. If not...well...there is my answer, right?
Hey Silver, i think the advice given to go to counseling with him is great...and you say you don't know how to ask?
Hugs,
Dbest
Thanks so much!!!
It helps to talk (type) it all out here with you ladies...this isn't going to be easy but moving out and on will keep me busy for a while (if thats the route I take).
Last night was odd...he came home, ate my chili (that he said I couldnt make) and then came into the living room to tell me he thinks it was the best chili he ever had. I just laughed because for days before I made it he was worried it would turn out like cr@p....
anyway...I had fully expected the silent treatment...we didnt engage in much conversation beyond that...a little small talk about his sons football game and that was it...I went to bed. Then this morning he actually made it a point to say goodbye to me...typically, without me extending the olive branch we would just avoid each other at all costs...I sure hope he doesnt think this is over...he'll get the point soon, its not over and it will not be over until he takes some initiative to recognize the problem.
Again, thanks so much ladies...this board has been so helpful and supportive.
silver
Maybe, if you just come out and tell him how you are feeling and ask him if he is willing to go to see a therapist then he can only say yes or no but be prepared for the "why do i need to go" question.
Or the alternative...he looks at me like I'm crazy...and goes back to watching TV...(or doing whatever else he was doing at the time)...but again...no answer speaks volumes, right?
Hugs,
Dbest
sometimes guys step up & do what they need to do when we stop trying...
a guy will tend to be lazy until a woman stops working (if it ain't broke don't fix it) & then start working when she stops.
i've no idea why, but it seems to make sense to guys.
Hugs,
Dbest
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