Having a hard time moving on
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|Tue, 07-30-2013 - 8:26pm|
For some reason, a month later, I am still having a hard time moving on. I feel extremely depressed. I am funtioning depressed but it isnt easy and whenever Im alone, all I can think about is him and why things went wrong.
We were together a little over a year. Its a little complicated but I will sum it up the best I can. A few months after we met, he mentioned he had a bad childhood and didnt talk to his dad for over 20 years. He would never go into much detail, would actually shut down if I asked him about it. I felt as it it was affecting our relationship though, because it was like there was an "elephant in the room" . That being said, we got along well overall but about 3months ago I asked him if he ever thought about marriage and children ( I am 33, he is 36). He said he really never thought marriage and children was something he wanted, althouhj "wasnt sure". To me, at age 36, you should know the answer to that. This convo led us to a break from each other to think (only a long weekend, 4 days) . We ended up talking after the long weekend, and decided not to make any rash decisons, as we both care greatly for each other, depsite our differnce in long term goals (marraige and kids). So 2 months later, we have broken up, on his terms, but somewhat mutaul due to all of the above.
Post breakup, I learned from his best childhood friend, he was sexually molested by his dad, who then went to jail. So I figured out the elephant in the room. His friend felt like he should tell me for closure purposes. My ex is so emotionally distant about the entire breakup, like he flicked a switch and one day was in love with me and the next day its like we were never together. Two weeks before we broke up he was searching for plane tickets for me to meet his entire family the next thing i knew we were done. I even saw him out, just days after the breakup with a girl he used to date (never anything serious w her).
Now that I know his past, I understand some of his behavior is from that and that is how he deals with life but it isnt helping me any Its like I know not being with him is for the better, but how it all ended just baffles and confuses me so much. He lives fairly close by in fairly small town which doesnt help either. How do I move on?? Ive been trying to stay busy with family and friends as much as possible but still feel sad, especially at night when im alone. I thought one month later I would feel better.
How long has it taken for others to feel better? Why, If I know things wouldnt work in the long run (marriage and kids) cant I move on? Im just waiting for the day to find out he has a new gf
I know he isnt right but still cant seem to move on....