Having a Hard Time - Need Some Support
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| Wed, 08-10-2005 - 10:51am |
Hi everyone,
I am at work right now, and I am having one of those "crisis moments" that everyone has when they're fresh off of a breakup and they are having thoughts of their ex and feeling the EXTREME want/need to call/email. It's so weird, I know I can't and I absolutely have to stop myself from making any contact, but you all know what i'm talking about. So I figured i'd write to the board instead for a little support. I have a feeling i'll be doing this a few more times here before i'm "out of the woods". You guys have all been lifesavers to me and I thank you all. I was just hoping that maybe you guys could give me that little push to keep me on track (today will be day 5 of no contact whatsover between us). It's so hard.
Thanks again
Jacki

Hey there, sorry for what you're going through but I can absolutely relate. A couple things that help me:
1. Saying "not today" every time I get the urge to contact him, as in I won't contact him today. The whole one day at a time thing.
2. Reminding myself that contacting him will just start the grieving process all over again...similar to quitting smoking or any other addiction. Asking myself if it's really worth that.
3. Making a pact with a close friend or my counselor that I won't contact him for X days (at first I generally keep this short...3 days or so). Then renewing that commitment at the end of the time period. It's important to me to keep my word, so this helps.
4. Especially at work, or any other time I have to focus...practicing thought-stopping. See my post below on how to do that.
Sheri
hey jacki,
hang in there hun. it's oh so hard... i know you want to... but it's up to him now to contact you, I believe. it's like that saying, "if you love something, set it free, if it comes back to you, it was meant to be"...
as many people have already suggested (I'm sure, and you probably know this as well), it always helps to keep yourself occupied. I've had a busy schedule lately and in addition to taking my mind off of my situation, accomplishing things has been great for my self esteem during this difficult time. It's important to keep the train moving when you're running low on fuel. ;)
Hi Jacki,
I know what your going through, I want to call my ex too, but I won't. It's been 34 days of NC now. Hang in there, you can do it. Please don't call, it's just like Sherri says, you will have to start the healing process all over again.
Do it one day at a time, don't do it today. This helped me, but no matter what people tell you it's still just hard. Remind yourself of why you broke up, or how he was in the end. Don't risk the chance of him being mean or hurtful to you. You have been through enough. I was like you and wanted to call, but I didn't. Keep busy, that is key and soon one day will become a week, a month....etc....
I still want to call my ex, and I find mornings I wake up and it's still the first thing on my mind, that I won't see so and so today and I am sad. But some things are just out of our control and no amount of calling/emailing text messg is going to bring him back.
hugs to you and I hope you feel better soon
Bunny