Having the Urge and Don't Want to Call!!
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| Tue, 08-23-2005 - 8:54am |
Hi everyone,
Well, today is day 7 of NC since the last time I screwed up and contacted my ex after 10 days of NC. Everything has been going fine, and today all of a sudden I woke up and for some reason have the urges to contact him stronger than usual. This is dangerous because i'm at work and have access to the computer all day and can't get up and be away from it because I have to be at my desk. I even had a dream about him last night. I dont remember it but I know he was in it. Then this morning I woke up with a headache (I had to go to work with this headache) and I feel worse. Tonight i'm supposed to go to my best friend's house for dinner (i've been going there a lot since all this has happened), but i'm just worried because I dont want to call/email him. I know it's not the right thing to do. I just need some support right now. Why is this so tough?? It feels like i'm just never going to get over this.

Hang in there...it always gets tougher before it gets easier, I've found. I think that's because the realization that it's really over takes some time to sink in.
What helps me is to make a commitment to someone (a friend, my counselor) that I won't contact my ex for X number of days (it might be a day, it might be a week, it all depends on how weak I'm feeling). Since keeping my word is important to me, this works for me. Then at the end of that time, I renew the commitment for another period of days.
It *will* get better, but you still have to get through this, one day at a time.
Sheri
I feel the same way but I didn't call it off he did... yes you miss him, you wonder what is he doing without you or who is he doing it with... but the time will heal you... try to keep positive, hang out with good friends/family, etc.. start a new project/hobby..
My breakup was a week before my birthday.. very hard then the week of my birthday he took me out to breakfast... ran game, we ended up >>> you know where and then nothing... the whole birthday thing was game to see if he could get me... well ITS A RAP... I asked him to come and get his things of course he hasn't and I don't communicate at all with him...
The breakup was enough but then to pull that sh... on my birthday that is just horrible..
BUT in the end I still have me.. and I deserve better he's the loser and I strongly believe in what comes around goes around... so I hurt yes but I love me more than him... and I will not be played again by him... Pray Pray and surround yourself with good... it will all come to pass... I know its hard...
Keep your head up...
Scar ;)
Stay strong girl. Whew, it seems like we have been on the same wave length. I too have been having those urges. But Im resisting them at all costs. It would be the worst thing I could ever do. What has helped me was remembering all the horrible things he's done and said to me and that's woke me up to realizing NOT TO CALL HIM. Or if it may help, what Ive done in the past is just dial the number but not press the talk button on my phone and let out a few screams or something. I know it sounds silly but dialing the number, looking at it helped get it out of my system.
I havent called him and I dont intend to either. I dont know the particulars of your breakup but chances are if in your mind you know you shouldnt be calling then you shouldnt.
Hugs, stay strong you can do it.