he already found somebody

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2005
he already found somebody
5
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 5:44pm
so here's my story: me and my boyfriend have been going out for 4 years on and off. we fought constantly, but knew we loved each other. He was my first love. we broke up about a year and a half ago. two months later he gets into contact with me and we started to hang out. he kept telling me how much he loved me and that he wanted to marry me and i felt the same, yet we didn't make a commmitment to each other again for fear it would crumble. we were just having fun hanging out. we still fought like we were going out, but we weren't. complicated huh? well about a week or so ago he tells me that he doesn't want to go about with this cause he doesn't want to have to worry about "us". i told him i couldn't do this knowing he doesn't see a future with us. he got angry. he just said if it was meant to be it'll be. i asked him if still loved me and he said yes. now i find out today that he found somebody. he said the past couple of days he's spent with her are the best days of his life. it's so unfair. i feel like i and the times we spent together meant nothing to him and that he never cared for me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2005
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 8:04pm

:o(

If it helps, just keep telling yourself "she's just a rebound girl."

Then, throw darts at his picture.

(Sorry, lame attempt at humor, I know.)

Believe that it will get better. So sorry for your pain.

~S

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 9:26pm
Oh honey, I'm so sorry to hear the bad news!!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2005
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 10:59pm

I know exactly how you feel and I am so sorry!

My ex and I were together for 7 years. He left me just 7 months before our wedding. One week after we broke up I found out he hooked up with another girl. It wouldn't have hurt so badly had I not found out just one week after that she told him she loved him. When he broke off our engagement I asked if there was someone else...he adamantly denied it. There were absolutely NO red flags, none whatsoever. One of the reasons I loved him so was because I trusted and believed in him. I knew where he was 24/7...so I've come to the conclusion any contact they had must have been via email or phone. Either that or she's a complete nut job. I don't know anyone who admits his or her love for someone else after one week. When I asked him if he loved her he said, "No, I can't fall in love that quickly. Do you think I'm crazy?" I asked again (while we were arguing) and he said, "Yes." After we calmed down a bit he told me he said yes "out of spite." He then proceeded to say, "It's a shame you found out because it could be nothing." She lives 3000 miles away! I often wonder if he ever truly loved me. I find it so hard to believe that he did knowing he jumped into another relationship so quickly. I sit here and wonder why he proposed or why he wasted so much of "our" time. In December I was telling his family about my dress and we were discussing our honeymoon and one month later he left me! UTTER SHOCK!

Anyway, I was in love with this man most of my life. I fell in love with him when I was just a teenager. He may have loved me for the past 7 years but I have a lifetime of love to get over and it sucks!

I will tell you this...things DO get BETTER! Don't get me wrong, some days I'm balling but they have become few and far between. I have more good days then bad. I keep myself occupied and try my hardest not to think about him, what he's doing or whom he is with. One thing that has helped me tremendously (besides this board) believe it or not is music! Not slow, depressing music but rather a variety of rock such as Simple Plan, Limp Bizkit, Jimmy Eats World etc. TRUST me it helps! Know in your heart that you deserve better...I KNOW I deserve better!

Good Luck and stay true to yourself!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2005
Fri, 04-01-2005 - 7:50am
thank you so much for your kind words. it does help.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2005
Fri, 04-01-2005 - 7:53am
lol thanks. everything that reminds me of him is gone from my apartment, but his presence still lingers around here. it just sucks that i have to live with it. and he's happy where he is. AAAHHHH!!!!