Is he being unfaithful?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
Is he being unfaithful?
4
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 3:38pm

I was having a discussion about being unfaithful. What do some of you feel are acts of being unfaithful?

In the discussion, I was told that telling your ex-girlfriend you still love her and want to be with her is not an act of being unfaithful or when you take ow phone numbers, but don't call them that you are not being unfaithful, but you feel you are being faithful to the person you are with. How is that? Please shed some light. Maybe I am the only one who believes that if you are in a relationship with someone and you are approached what is wrong with saying you are not interested or I'm involved and move on. Why accept a phone number if you have no intentions on calling them.

Hope to get some good feedback.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 4:41pm
Am I understanding correct that it was your SO you were having this conversation with and it was him who told you that whole paragraph??
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
Tue, 11-16-2004 - 9:58pm
I think that your BF doesn't have clear what it means to be in a serious relationship. If he's telling her that and such he's toying with her feelings and yours too. If he's with you and loves you then why tell his ex that he loves her and that he'd like to be with her? What's the point of being with you then? As for getting numbers and never calling that plain stupid. Perhaps he does it because he wants to have his ego boosted... I'd see if this guy does what he says.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
Wed, 11-17-2004 - 10:13am

No it wasn't my SO. The conversation I was having was with my ex, who for some reason still wants to try and hold on to me while I am already moving on with my life. But, he doesn't feel that he is being unfaithful to the person that he is spending his time with by calling me; telling me he still loves me and we should be a family, as well as taking ow numbers, but not calling them.

I feel sorry for her, because I don't think she really knows what she has gotten into with him. He says he can change and be faithful, but I was with him for a long time and he wasn't able to be faithful with me and from the looks of it he is not going to be with anyone.

It took me a long time to move on and after 2 1/2 years of back and forth. I finally said no more. I deserve better for myself and my family.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
Wed, 11-17-2004 - 10:22am

I agreee and I have told my ex that he is still confused as to what it means to be in a real relationship. This is the major reason why I am not with him. It took me a long time to move on from this and I finally did it. I know that I will not be totally free from contact with him, because we have children together, but emotionally I am free.

So, I know that there are others here who go back and forth or up and down, but in the long run only you will know when enough is enough and take the steps to go on. I am and it is because of the support I receive from friends, family and reading some of the stories here.

I am glad I found this place.