He broght me flowers!!
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| Tue, 11-14-2006 - 10:27am |
He was bringing the rest of my stuff over, I opened the door and here he is with a dozen red roses!
To make a long story short, he apologized (AGAIN, this is not his first time breaking up!) and said he doesn't blame me if I don't want him back and that he respects me and my honesty and integrity in this relationship, etc...
He admitted he'd been bad to me and on and on...
I stood my ground and told him that I've let him go and didn't go for his apologies, reminding him of how many times I've heard the same thing over...
He left finally accepting the breakup, but calls me at work the next day asking if we could have lunch together, talking as if nothing has happened!! I said No.
Then he asks if we can have lunch tommorrow (today) and I was so busy and just to get him off the phone I said OK.
He calls me last night at home and my cell, and I didn't pick up the phone
I'm resisting him, but it's causing me so much anxiety. I was up till 3am last night and had to get up at 5:30. It had been two months since the break up and I was doing so much better. Now I'm afraid I'll give in! :-( and I don't want to put myself through this emotional roller coaster again... I've told him everything I need to about how he's broken my trust and I don't believe a word that comes out of his mouth anymore...Yet I have feelings for him still.
I feel like such a push over. I wish I could just say something really nasty and insulting, maybe that way he would just leave me alone...

Do you really want him to leave you alone or are you secretly (actually, it's not so secret) enjoying the attention from him again?
Figure out what YOU want, irregardless of what anyone else says, and then make it happen.
~~.: Sandra :.~~
You said it in one of your previous posts- you want him to want you back. If you really wanted him to leave you alone, you wouldn't let him contact you- period. You wouldn't see him. You wouldn't pick up the phone when he calls.
I know you think you are "resisting" and making a statement- but you aren't. It's a game to him. If this tactic has worked before, he probably suspects it will work again, especially if you keep talking to him. You don't believe a word that comes out of his mouth- well, why should he believe a word that comes out of yours? You SAY that you don't want to get back together- but your actions don't reflect that.
I think I remember you saying you had a daughter. Is this the kind of example you want to show her - that her mother has so little respect for herself that she will let a man that has cheated on her (multiple times- right?) control her life? That she needs attention from a man to make her feel important? No matter how old she is, she sees this and is directly or indirectly affected by it. If you don't stand up for yourself for your own mental health and well-being, than you should do it for her. She deserves to have a strong female role model who will show her that you don't need to tolerate a man that treats you like crap.
Erica
Yes I do like the attention, and enjoy rejecting him.
I tried to get my stuff back w/o contacting him by his sister-in-law, who was first willing to help me and then backed out.
The relationship needed a closure. Specially that I needed to pour out all that I hadn't told him (like the cheating, which he didn't know I knew about).
My therapist had suggested that it was good for me to finally tell him everything I had kept inside for the last couple of years. Remember we never officially broke up, he just stopped calling me and I wasn't willing to call him either.
Anger turned inwards turns into depression and that's exactly where I have been. I feel much more empowered now that I have spoken my peace. Yes I'm still upset about this whole situation, but I did finally tell him not to contact me anymore.
As far as my feelings for him, deep inside I still love him. It's my logic and fear of going on the roller-coaster of emotions again which is keeping me from falling for him again.
By the way my daughter knows nothing about this. She visits me every other weekend and I don't involve her in my relationship issues. Not through action or words.