He called & I'm having a wrose time
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He called & I'm having a wrose time
| Thu, 08-30-2007 - 9:17am |
I've been posting here since my ex & I broke up over a week ago. Since then I found him on myspace talking with girls about his great friday night. I felt he didn't understand how I was feeling alot of times & he didn't have much compassion. I felt mis understood. And you all probally know the rest. He has said everything is my fault which I can assure you is not. I have started to believe that so I wrote him an email basiclly begging him to call me since he got his number changed & he did. I cried the whole time. Told him I wanted him back, loved him, missed him bla bla bla. HE still never seemed to get what he did to me. And he told me he loved me. SO yesterday I wrote him a few emails & he called me last night & I told him I was thinking about getting a myspace account like he did to meet people & put pictures of myself on there in my bathing suit like he did. He went off on me, told me to go ahead & do it & then told me to eff off.
So, I was so mad & wrote him like 4 emails & this mornign I feel like I am back to the begining. He sent me two emails back & said " Why are you such an ass? You need to grow up,and i hope soon.You blew it tonight,i called to talk and all you did was accusse me of stupid s**t."
Why do I want him to want me? Why am I jealous he's going to be off at some labor day weekend party with the myspace people? I feel out of control, unable to sleep, eat. I cry on & off. I get mad, then I get rational. I feel like if I stop emailing him he will forget about me forever. Please help. I need support.
So, I was so mad & wrote him like 4 emails & this mornign I feel like I am back to the begining. He sent me two emails back & said " Why are you such an ass? You need to grow up,and i hope soon.You blew it tonight,i called to talk and all you did was accusse me of stupid s**t."
Why do I want him to want me? Why am I jealous he's going to be off at some labor day weekend party with the myspace people? I feel out of control, unable to sleep, eat. I cry on & off. I get mad, then I get rational. I feel like if I stop emailing him he will forget about me forever. Please help. I need support.

i'm really sorry you're going through something like this. i recently got dumped as well, and the wave of sh*t that comes with it is crushingly hard to deal with. but you need to wake up and snap out of it. everything you do that keeps you and him connected will only hurt you more and drive him away. i'm in a similar situation because my ex keeps a blog about her life and i find myself constantly checking it, keeping tabs on how she's doing and how well she's "moving on", and it's incredibly painful. i loathe myself for checking it but i can't stop, it's like an addiction to feel sh*tty.
every time you're about to do anything concerning him, just don't do it =/
every email you write to him will only cement his resolve into thinking he did the right thing. guys are like that, we'll pursue anything that is unobtainable, but once we know we have you hooked, we start looking elsewhere. you need to make him miss you, you need him to wonder why you've stopped emailing him, why you don't even care to talk to him, or keep tabs on him.
don't get a myspace just to prove how over you are with him and how well you're doing, it'll just create another conduit for more pain, because you'll log on every day, check your page, check his page and feel miserable.
if he's already treating you like this, why do you need him? it's cliche to say this, but yeah there are TONS of ppl out there, why settle for someone who obviously doesn't care about your feelings? if he really loved you he wouldn't treat you like this, he'd do everything his power to cut you out of his life, because he should know that every time you speak he's only hurting you more.
but i have some good news for you, every post, every article, everything and anything on this forum that involves heartbreak has one universal truth, it'll get better as time goes on. as long as you follow the steps to moving on, you'll find yourself feeling much much better as the days go.
be strong woman! keep your dignity intact, and this guy will eventually respect you. if you continue you put him on a pedestal you'll only be giving him fuel to move on quicker.
Curlygrl,
When you write those letters and emails, you really need to burn them and not send them.
Curlygrl-
I am sorry you are going through this. Unfortunately, you have a long way to go.
Jax pretty much described what I went through exactly. You need to stop contacting him. You will have good days and bad days. I am going on 7 weeks of N/C, it is still hard but getting easier every day.
Take a deep breath and make the decision to stop the cycle. Have you read the Zen of Doing Nothing? It is in the resource section of the message boards. The one about Space is great too. Please print them out and read and re-read those.
Best wishes to you~