HE CHEATED NOW WHAT?
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| Mon, 04-24-2006 - 9:37pm |
Hi all the last time i posted i said my hubby had cheated on me but didn't really give detail.
sooo....
For the past few years i have struggled w/ him doing drugs. And we have been thru marriage counsling and he has been thru drug counsling as well. Every time i find out he is doing wrong he quits long enough to get off my "radar". Then he always seems to go out and do somthing worse. well this time took the cake. for a while i had been suspicious of him then one nite while chatting i was talking bout him. I said his screen name and they told me to go to his myspace(i didn't know he had) so i did. It was horroble it said he wasn't married looking to meet any girl for well u get the picture. So i did a little P.I. work and eventually ended up talking to his girlfreind. I kicked him out and was broken to peices. I had no i dea what to do. We were separated for bout a week and then i missed him too much, so dumb me let him coma home w/ a certain amount of rules of course IE.. not drugs, no drinking, no lieing and, no cheating. or it will be divorce.
soo here i am back in the same boat AGAIN wondering if he means buisness this time or if he is just waiting to got on my good side. I don't trust him but i do love him. SO i duno what to do. If any one has an opinion or some advice that would be great. I don't have any friends or family here. So i am kinda stuck.
Thankyou,
GoodGirlTali777

Also, let him see you busy-- working on bettering yourself and finding ways to make yourself happy. Don't put your life on hold because of his selfish, self-centered ways. When he sees you moving on it may make him realize that he is losing a good thing. If he doesn't realize and change, move on...he's not worth wasting your life on. Life is too short!
With addicts you can never be sure, because the drug/addiction of choice is #1. Have you posted on the Betrayed Spouse Support board?
But I will say this: if the pattern is for him to do just enough to appease you (stay off radar) then things haven't changed. Actions have to match words and rebuilding trust and healing the betrayal has to be #1.
Carrie
Hang in there, I know from experience it's tough. I was married to an abusive, self-centered control freak. 11 years and 5 kids later, I was finally strong enough to leave for good. Raising kids alone,(only spuratic child support from him) is not easy. It's now been 14 years since and he hasn't changed. When I think about what my life would be if I hadn't left, I'm glad I finally did. For the kids sake too.
Do what is right for you. Protect your children from any harm (physical, mental, emotional) and pray--a lot!