He did it again!!
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| Sun, 05-07-2006 - 5:02pm |
I feel like I have been through heartbreak toture. I finally saw exBF this past Thurs., we hadn't seen each other in over a month.
Little background for those new to the story: We were about to move in together (HE asked ME to!), talking about getting married soon (again, HE brought it up to ME, brought me ring shopping & even got the ring I wanted)...the works. He called me 5days before I was suppose to move in & said things were moving too fast, we broke up that night. I have been a mess since then. We had little contact via email, because I wanted the stuff I had moved in already back. About 3 weeks after the breakup, we set up a day for him to come over (he is 3hrs away) & bring it back. I backed out the night before, I wasn't ready to see him. He called me & said he didn't mean to break up, loves me, wants to be together, has been so depressed etc. He asked if he could still come over the next day & give him another chance. I said ok- he called the next morning, and said he would call again before he left his house. Well, he never called or showed up. I was heartbroken again. I wrote him a mean email that night & ended it with "give me my things back".
UPDATE: welll, finally a week after I sent that email I got an email back. He didn't react to all the negative things I said about him, just acted like everything was fine 7 said he would bring my things Thurs. (this past Thurs.). Well, he came over, it was akward & hard to see him at first. We just unpacked the car, made smalltalk. Then after, we sat down & talked- which turned into hours of talking. He teared up to me saying "I don't know what is wrong with me, I feel so depressed, I feel so screwed up, I feel so lost. You are the best thing that happened to me & are everything I want & I can't believe I hurt you so much- I can see it in your face & that breaks my heart." He went on & on, and we wound up going to dinner, etc & spent many hours talking. He said he knows he has alot of proving to do, but wants to step up to the plate. He even said "what do you think about me moving by you, yuo have made enough scarifices for me, it's my turn". He said he didn't know how we got to the point we were at, but he knew it was his doing..said he has never been happier then when he was with me. I told him he has alot of proving to do. He went home that night (we are 3hrs away). The next day he called twice, left nice little texts, etc. Was putting the effort to make me feel special. He even called me at 6:30am yesterday morning to say "I love you so much & have been so happy to have you back in my life. I called my parents & told them we were back together, they are so happy too. I can't believe what happened to us, it shouldn't have & I know it's all my fault- I know what to do to make it up to you & cant wait for you to see that, you are my one etc etc". He asked to see me the next day (today), I said ok. He called me last night to confirm, even threw out ideas for us to do for the day, ended it with "I can't wait to see you tomorrow!". He was suppose to call me before he left....well, he never did & never showed up!!! I have been crying my eyes out all day.... how could he do this to me, and how could I let him AGAIN??? I feel like I am back to day 1 of the break up!! My heart is so torn apart... I feel so foolish, why does he say all this & make plans for our future again (even booked a hotel for us next weekend to go to disney!!).... WHY???

Have you ever heard the story of the scorpion who begs the frog to give him a ride across a river? The frog says no at first because he's afraid the scorpion will sting him...but the scorpion talks him into it and convinces the frog he won't sting him. Of course, the scorpion does in fact sting the frog and as they are both drowning, the frog cries, "WHY?" The scorpion replies, "because it's my nature".
That's the bottom line with your ex...this is WHO HE IS. He's not going to change his nature...at least not without a whole lot of therapy and hard work.
You need to accept that and move on.
Sheri
I agree.
Susan
"Success is building a foundation wit
hi kbi22
i'm so sorry for WHAT happen to you. stop blamming yourself ofcourse you love this guy so you are ready to give everything to him. BUT THE THING IS HIS TAKING ADVANTAGE OF YOU NOW. HIS BEEN TESTING YOU AND HE KNOWS THAT NO MATTER WHAT HE WILL DO TO YOU. YOU WILL BE THERE FOR HIM STILL.
YOU KNOW WHAT I CANT BLAME YOU AT ALL. I CANT TELL YOU, YOU LET IT HAPPEN. YOU LOVE THIS GUY THATS WHY YOU WERE DOING THIS. I MEAN ALL OF US BEEN THRU THIS DRAMA RIGHT?
ACTUALLY WITH ALL OF THIS DRAMA THAT YOUR HAVING. YOU WILL LEARN FROM THOSE. ONETHING I COULD TELL YOU BE STRONG. EVERYTHING WILL BE ALLRIGHT TRUST ME....TIME WILL COME YOU WILL GET TIRED AND YOU WERE THE ONE WHO COULD TELL WHICH IS RIGHT AND WHICH IS WRONG FOR YOURSELF.
GOOD LUCK DEAR