He did it to me AGAIN! Pain is worse!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
He did it to me AGAIN! Pain is worse!
2
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 8:31am
Hi all - I had been posting for two weeks that my bf of 5yrs and I had broken up. We didn't speak for two weeks then he called me last Tuesday night and said he hadn't cancelled his ticket to come see me Memorial Week-end. I had already made other plans which I was sorry about because I did want to see him. He didn't mention working things out until I asked and he said he did want to try. We talked alot over the next few days and over the week-end things really seemed back to normal on the phone/two waying...then out of the blue yesterday he decided something just seemed to be missing! I was crushed and now I'm back to square one with trying to get over him. I would've been three weeks along instead of one day again. He was even making plans for the summer, making reference to me moving there over the last week and now here we are broken up for good. I keep wondering what I could've done, said to make him want to work things out and it's killing me. I don't know how to get rid of the pain. I want to die.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 11:40am

I've posted this before on another thread but the best explanation I was ever given (by my brother) was this:

"It's not about what you did, it's about what he can't give you."

You are obviously ready for a commitment, you are ready for the responsibility of a relationship. The bottomline is, he's not. And his missing you is not fabricated or fake, but it isn't enough for him to jump in with both feet. So he toyed with the idea of starting again but realized it would take effort and probably realized its probably easier for HIM to just leave things as they are. It's easier to go backwards into old patterns then it is to move forward and forge new ones.

Take time, cry it out, but don't give up. Now is the time to lean on your friends and family. Tell them that you are miserable and need their support. They are the people to depend on, not your ex.

-adc

-almostdoesntcount

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2005
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 4:50pm

im so sorry to read about your pain! but dont let anybody make you feel you want to die! positive thinking is the key!
it seems to me that This man is completely selfish he wasn’t think about you when he said he wants to try again by saying this hes completely mucked up your head and its made him feel better because hes in controll and its helped him sort out what he wants!

My advise to you is to completely ignore him get out there and enjoy yourself!
Concentrate on a social life and meeting new people! And you never know you might stumble across someone that deserves you!
Move on... easier said then done but trust me its for the best…..think to yourself do you really want to be with someone who is messing with your feelings?

good luck and keep us posted!