he didn't tell me he had 6 kids

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2004
he didn't tell me he had 6 kids
3
Wed, 12-01-2004 - 4:17pm

My boyfriend & I have been dating now for 2 years. He was the most perfect person in the world for me. I never connected with someone so amazing. I have been divorced since I was 24 and now am 41. I felt like I could marry this man after about 4 months into it. (I never feel like this)

The first 9 mos he told me he only had 1 boy age 13. I have a grown child of my own that was raised by his father. I really don't like children and tend to look for men that don't have any. I also prefer men that have been divorced no less than 2 years.

Then after 9 mos he told me he had 5 more children and his divorce wasn't final. They are all from the same 20 yr marrage. The youngest is 10. Two of the children are grown and have moved out. On top of that, 3 of the childern are mentally challenged, one child being very bad off.

I may have stayed with him after that huge lie because nothing really changed. What was the difference if he saw 1 child or 4 children two days a week. I have never met any of his children nor do I want to. The divorce is final but the ex keeps taking him back to court.

I want to get married some day. I want him without his baggage. I know this can never happen.

Do I leave a wonderful relationship that can only go as far as it is right now? Or do I leave with only the hope of finding someone as good as him to have a future with?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
Wed, 12-01-2004 - 4:57pm
I'd ask myself how can I stay with "the perfect man" after he's lied about his children and not being divorced? How can I trust him now if he can easily lie about the most important thing in ones life: children? How can I believe another word that comes out of his lying mouth? How can I stay with a man who has 6 kids IF I don't like children? How can I stay with a man who hasn't being divorced yet? If you stay with him you'd be denying all the standards, values and principle you set for you and your relationships. In other words you'd be settleing for less.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-01-2004 - 5:06pm

My thoughts exactly. I don't know how you rationalize such a huge lie, or ever trust him again.

Sheri

Avatar for alsatia23
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 12-02-2004 - 1:42pm

He's not perfect if he's lied to you and probably is lying to you about other things.


Leave him and







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