He doesn't know what he wants..HELP!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2004
He doesn't know what he wants..HELP!!!
2
Fri, 12-17-2004 - 4:29pm
Here is my problem please HELP any advice will be greatly appreciated. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 9 months and things are a little uneasy between us. Well, he is a good person and I know he cares about me but... I was getting the feeling that he wanted to break up so I brought up the topic... and he says to me that He doesn't know what he wants, if he wants to stay together or break up..and then he went on and on about how much he cares for me, but that he doesn't feel he has time to hang out with his friend's and I say okay so when you want to hang out do so that does not bother me at all. so I take this as he does not want to be with me and I told him that if he doesn't know if he wants to be with me then he obviously doesn't! he got upset with me and told that is not true.... so I told him that as long as he does not know what he wants do not call me... well the next day he calls and acts like nothing has happened between us, and this hurts me because I don't know what to do except avoid him.... by him calling me is he really trying to stay with me? I know that he is not seeing anyone else so that is not a problem either.... I don't understand guys!!!!!!! Or is this just a period he is going through because we are over our honeymoon stage in the relationship??? I am going to do my own thing and keep busy without him... if he keeps calling and wants to see me then does that mean he wants to be with me??
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 12-17-2004 - 5:23pm

Firstly, get that book "He's just not into You" and read it

Secondly..don't you want a man that is crazy about you, like you are about him?? Don't you want a man that will swim oceans and climb mountains for you?? Don't you deserve all that and more??

Of course you do...tell him..if he's not sure, you know that means "He's just not into you" and tell him bye bye! Give him the time and space needed to miss you...and if it's meant to be..then one day, some day, he'll come and find you. And if you still feel the same, then go from there..but tell him..goodbye and to look you up when he knows what he wants...and tell him..i just hope for your sake, i feel the same!

deborah

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Sat, 12-18-2004 - 10:34pm
Common excuse guys usually use when they want out "I dont know what I want" k so YOU know what you want then look for someone as mature as you are.
Not someone who is still uncapable of understanding himself...
This is a case from a textbook and usually when a guy uses this excuse then he is really
over. I suggest that you keep talking to him but go out and see other people and make him feel jealous but never think you are still committed to him..