HE dumped ME and won't stop calling
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HE dumped ME and won't stop calling
| Thu, 01-13-2005 - 12:29pm |
Hi all. Out of no where my ex dumped me. I never saw it coming. We lived together 2 years and had the wedding planned. Just one day he said, "I can't do this anymore. I don't want a commitment anymore." He moved out the following day. I was devestated. The only thing I knew how to do was to NOT contact him. I refused to let myself get on the "roller coaster". It has been nearly 2 months and I think I have done fairly well moving on.
BUT, in the last 3 days, he has called me 4 times. The first couple times I let the machine pick it up. The third time I answered it, gave him the info he was requesting, and hung up w/ out the possibility of any small talk. The FOURTH time he called (and for a dumb reason at that) we ended up talking for a half hour about things going on in our lives. He had told me of some things he had been up to w/ his co-workers and what not, and in 3 separate stories of his, he had been talking about me w/ his friends. I asked him why he kept bringing me up to his friends?! Seems odd to me. I then told him I was interviewing for a part time job and he wanted to know where. I told him I didn't want to tell him. But, I finally gave in and did and he said, "oh, that's right by my house." I said, "like I would know." (Yeah, I don't even know where he lives). He then said, "Well, you're more then welcome to come over whenever. I want you to come over." I told him that I don't want to, and nor do I need to know where he lives, as I don't care anymore.
ANYWAY, to make a long story longer, I am now confused, and back posting!!!! I haven't came on here since the initial break-up. I don't know why I let him get to me. I certainly don't know why I am thinking he misses me, especially when it was so easy for him to dump me!!!!! Please help!!!!!!
BUT, in the last 3 days, he has called me 4 times. The first couple times I let the machine pick it up. The third time I answered it, gave him the info he was requesting, and hung up w/ out the possibility of any small talk. The FOURTH time he called (and for a dumb reason at that) we ended up talking for a half hour about things going on in our lives. He had told me of some things he had been up to w/ his co-workers and what not, and in 3 separate stories of his, he had been talking about me w/ his friends. I asked him why he kept bringing me up to his friends?! Seems odd to me. I then told him I was interviewing for a part time job and he wanted to know where. I told him I didn't want to tell him. But, I finally gave in and did and he said, "oh, that's right by my house." I said, "like I would know." (Yeah, I don't even know where he lives). He then said, "Well, you're more then welcome to come over whenever. I want you to come over." I told him that I don't want to, and nor do I need to know where he lives, as I don't care anymore.
ANYWAY, to make a long story longer, I am now confused, and back posting!!!! I haven't came on here since the initial break-up. I don't know why I let him get to me. I certainly don't know why I am thinking he misses me, especially when it was so easy for him to dump me!!!!! Please help!!!!!!

Email him and tell him straight out that unless he is 110% sure that he wants to try again, he is not to contact you, and if and when you are ready to be friends with him, you'll get in touch with HIM. He doesn't get to be your "buddy" in the meantime!!!
Sheri
hello,
i was reading your story and found it interesting. i was actually working on a project for my human sexuality class when i found what you had written.
i dated a guy for four years. we broke-up because we never got to see each other, we would fight, and we just did not get along. my situation is very similar to yours except i am the one who broke it off. for a solid month after the brake-up he would call me and at the end of every phone call we would tell each other that we loved each other. the phone calls tapered off, but we still kept in touch. a year after the brake-up i moved to the college he was attending. we started dating other people for the first time since the brake-up. we always ended up coming back to each other and being confused about the way we felt. i am telling you my story because it has been two and half years since our official break-up and he still gets to me and he told me i still get to him. we will decide to stop calling each other or even stop seeing each other, which is extremely hard: his sister lives with me, we both an organization called bcm (baptist college ministries), so i am bound to run into him. if we have not talked in a while he will call me and everything is fine to begin with, like you had mentioned. then the more we talk he tells me he is still confused. and like you, i let him get to me. last may he started liking this awesome girl. well, after school she had to go back home, but they talked several times a week. then when she came back they started officially dating. they dated about a month and a half. within that time period they broke up four times because he did not know exactly how he felt about me. they have been broke up for the past three and a half months, and he and i have been talking. just last tuesday night we decided not to be together and he is going to see about being with this other girl again. this is fine, but he should not call like he does and should not make the comments to me like he does. i do commend you for being strong even though you said in the fourth conversation you let him get to you. i have not been able to be that strong even once. everytime we decided to not talk something happens and i again let him get to me. this has lasted for the past two and half years like i said before. maybe after reading your story, i can apply your strength to my situation. it is hard to not let them get to us because of the way we feel about them. but i think what you and i both need to do is, if you are really serious about this, tell him if he really cares about you and your feelings he has to realize and respect your feelings. he needs to respect that it is a little harder for you to just talk about things that you used to as a couple. i am also telling this to myself and hoping it is sinking in. my ex just told me during christmas shopping that he imagined shopping like that with his wife. directing that quote toward me, saying he was picturing me being his wife. they should not do things like that. they may not realize what they are doing therefore, it is up to you and i to let them know exactly how we feel. i hope this a help and i hope that you will stay strong. my only stronghold is the Lord Jesus Christ, with him we both can be stonger than our feelings and emotions.
phillyroze2004...
The solution to this problem is very simple.
Get yourself an unlisted phone number and block his emails.