He dumps me and is trying to contact me!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
He dumps me and is trying to contact me!
16
Sun, 11-21-2004 - 11:55pm

HEY!

I'm back!!!!! Well, I've been broken up with my ex for a month now .. and about two weeks ago I told him I couldn't EVER be his friend because he's a lying jerk! LOL Anyways .. so we hadn't talked AT ALL in the past two weeks .. I deleted him from my MSN list, so I never see when he's on .. anyways .. tonight I get an MSN message from him trying to talk to me .. why the hell does he still want me in his life or want to know about my life, if we aren't going to be together? I don't get it. One of his close friends always asks me qusetions about my life too .. and I know it's all going back to him .. so like why the hell won't he just go away like I told him to? Why is he trying to talk to me .. the point of getting him out of my life all together was to get over him and move on .. and PS. Did I mention he's a jerk? Any advice would be great! Thanks!

Lynne

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2003
Mon, 11-22-2004 - 3:02pm

I feel the same way too! I told my ex last night that he was being selfish by contacting me. That's when he told me I sounded bitter and that he should go. But I know I'm right. He didn't contact me to make me feel better - he wanted to make sure that I was okay so he could stop feeling guilty. He said that he still cares for me, but wonders why I think it's better to have nothing than the stupid "friendly" conversations. How does he expect me to go from being his girlfriend, to telling me I'm not the one, then IM buddies??

Ok, I still need to let go of the anger, but atleast I'm taking it out on the board instead. Atleast I understand what's going on and will hopefully be able to move on soon. I hope for the best for you too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2004
Mon, 11-22-2004 - 3:04pm
I think it depends on what you want... you may be able to work things out with an ex if some time has passed and you have done other things and seen other people and maybe both of you realized that mistakes were made... i think it takes more time though
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2004
Tue, 11-23-2004 - 9:44am

Hi,

Just my $.02 but I agree with Sheri (northwesterner). I believe the guy is calling you to ensure you are 'still there for him' if things don't work out with his current situation. As Sheri put it, he has put you on the back burner. He keeps calling because he knows that if he stops, you will be able to get over him quicker. The same thing happened to me and I continued to be his friend even though I knew no contact was the way to go but I couldn't let go. Three weeks ago I finally told him that I would no longer answer any of his calls or emails. It was very hard at first but now it's much easier. I feel like every day I think of him less than the day before. Good luck to you. Lucy

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Wed, 11-24-2004 - 4:00pm

All of the posts I have read on this topic have really made me understand a lot more why ex's just don't go away after they dump you! My ex is still trying to contact me and I'm just not responding anyway. It is so hard because once you are starting to feel better and get over the person, they just reappear when they feel like it. I'm going to stay strong and not talk to him. I know that it's driving him crazy that I won't talk to him, but that's not my problem. He hurt me and he's the one who can live with that, while I start to move on. Thanks again everyone!

Lynne

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2003
Wed, 11-24-2004 - 11:11pm
It's really hard to stay away, isn't it? I'm fighting the temptation to IM him right now. I've deleted all his contact info, but it's not like I've forgotten any of it. I've been keeping busy - going out with friends almost everyday, but it's the nighttime that makes it so hard. I miss him so much. I've started a journal and I've written down everything down. It makes me cry, but I'm hoping it'll eventually make me feel better. Good luck to you too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Fri, 11-26-2004 - 12:13am
I think it all goes back to the forbidden fruit philosophy.....you always want what you can't have. You said you couldn't be his friend and didn't want to talk to him so now he wants to talk to you. Just stick to your guns!!! Good luck and keep us posted!!











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