He emailed me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2006
He emailed me.
2
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 6:33pm
Story: We dated for 11 months, he broke up with me 2 weeks ago because he's not ready to get serious and he can't see himself getting married in the next year or two. He's 30, i'm 29. He said he wanted to be friends. Best friends. But he wouldn't be able to see me for a while because he'd cave in and then we'd be having the same conversation a few weeks from now. I told him I couldn't talk to him and that I needed space and time to process everything. He didn't listen and called me and emailed me a couple of times. Then we didn't have any contact for the past week. Well, he emailed me Tues night. Asked me how I was doing. I said very good, getting ready for a much needed vacay. u? So he wrote back that night saying he was locked out of the laundrymat with his clothes inside. For the past 2 weeks, I was healing. I was moving on. I went over all the reasons why he wasn't the right man for me. I was actually elated/almost high off my feelings of freedom. When his email address showed up in my inbox, i froze, my heart dropped and i couldn't breathe. I couldn't open it for an hour because i was scared of what it would say. Now I'm thinking about him all the time. Will he call? When will he write me again? And now i'm trying to plan on ways of trying to get him back. I've been eating junk for 2 days and can't get out of this funk. Why do guys do this to us? How can they have all this power over us?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2004
In reply to: kitsy200
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 6:45pm
They only have power if you let them. Ok, so he emailed you, what did the email say specifically? If it didn't say anything about wanting to talk to you and working things out, then you know he doesn't mean that. He broke up with you, you were moving on, and he pops up again. That always happen, and trust me, it will happen again. You have to be clear to him, that you need time to heal, and that means "No Contact". Trust me when I say, you can't move on if you continue to talk, email, text, and all that good stuff. Your driving yourself crazy, because he is not being clear on why he wants to maintain contact with you. Ask him, why is he emailing you? Your actually in the driver seat, because he initiates the contact, so you have the ball in your court. Ignore his calls and emails, until you are fully recovered and whatever communication he sends, it won't phase you one bit. You see it bothers you now, because you still care, and that is ok. You will always care, and that's part of the process. So tough it up, and ignore him or ask him directly what he wants, so you can begin to move on, and maybe one day have a friendship with him. He might feel guilty, so that is why they sometimes call, to check to see what type of damage they did. Hang in there,
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2007
In reply to: kitsy200
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 8:10pm

I agree. You do have the ball in your court because he keeps calling you. You do need to stay away from him and have no contact. It's too soon. That how feelings resurface. I don't know what it is about these guys. They must like to drive us crazy. Either way I don't think it feels good. When they call it screws up our head and stirs up our feelings. When they don't call it makes us wonder if they're over us, if they miss us, what they're doing, why they haven't called. I know because I'm doing that now. Both situations are hard. But you have to stay strong and not communicate with him. Tell him again. And if he doesn't listen you may have to resort to ignoring him. It'll be good because once he doesn't have you, you'll know how he really feels about you.

MsTill