He Ended our Relationship Through Email

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2008
He Ended our Relationship Through Email
27
Mon, 03-17-2008 - 9:38am
My story is in my first post...."Death od Ex Girlfriend." He sent me an email last night ending our relationship. He said that there was something that just wasn't right between us. This is news to me! He also said, "sorry about the love stuff, if my feelings were genuine I never would have treated you this way." This is a man who pursued me ARDENTLY professing his life long love to me and plans for the future...then once he got me and I gave my heart to him (I gave up everything to be with him...he lived in England and me in the States)...he ran the other way. He tells me that it wasn't just the death of the girlfriend...that he felt smothered and he wanted to be single. I feel like it was all a lie. I feel so totally rejected. I can't even pick myself up off the ground. My heart is shattered in a million pieces! How can someone pour on the love then do a 360 like that and turn the other way! He had sabotaged our relationship before I even got there! He says he wants excitement etc. No one could meet his expectations...they are completely unrealistic! I think he is a commitment phobic. It was just hard for me tell because the death overshadowed everything. I guess I should have seen the writing on the wall...he was in two long relationships but he cheated on both of them. When I look back I can see ways that he sabotaged our relationship. He lied about things, hid things, almost made it so I would find out!!!! Dear God! I don't think anything has ever caused me so much pain. I may need professional help to make it through this. Please...I need help/advice. I am in SO MUCH PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!! Definitely hit rock bottom! HELP PLEASE!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2006
Mon, 03-17-2008 - 10:45am

(((HUGS))) This is a natural reaction when you get your heart broken. You'll go through several emotions before it gets better. Right now, you are hurt.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 03-17-2008 - 2:12pm

Look for that professional help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2008
Tue, 03-18-2008 - 10:45am
You are right. I think I am mourning more for who I thought he was than for who he really is. The email was just so mean and hurtful. I had emailed him asking him to send my stuff back...so I think he was trying to hurt me. He has been so back and forth. He gave such contrasting reasons for ending things. Just the day before he said that he loves me forever and misses me terribly. ??????????
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2008
Fri, 03-21-2008 - 3:49am

Wow. Good for you. I really mean that, because he sounds like someone who doesn't have any healthy relationships and probably gets a kick out of the drama or something. Glad you blocked his email.

I know it probably hurts a lot, but don't get sucked back in by him, no matter what he does. He sounds... mentally unbalanced. Maybe he's bipolar. What I mean is, you don't sound like that at all.

You probably feel like crap right now, but I swear you WILL get over this. And you'll probably laugh at this, because you'll have moved on, and he'll probably just find some girl just as mentally unbalanced as he is to torture.

"Wherever you go, go with all your heart." -Confucius

"Wherever you go, go with all your heart." -Confucius

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2008
Mon, 03-24-2008 - 1:21am
Hi, I know what you are going thru as well!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2008
Mon, 03-24-2008 - 8:48am
Thank you Coleen! My ex was in love with me a couple days before the breakup...then he changed his mind I guess. The breakup email was mean. It ended with the words..."later then." He trivialized our relationship by saying that if he had genuine feelings for me then he wouldn't have treated me this way! Wow!! Mentally unstable perhaps? This is a man who pursued me to the ends of the earth, professed his undying love, and promised to be with me forever! Then I go to move in with him and he freaks out! I am doing NC now...and I know I will get through. Each day has it's challenges. Yesterday was a bad day...:-( Thank you again for reaching out to me!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Mon, 03-24-2008 - 11:57am

*hugz* email break up is really really rough. But I'll hope you'll come to see it in a two ways in the near future. 1. It speaks more of his character than of yours (I think you have that covered) and 2. It prevented you from jumping on him and throttling the life out of him.

*hugz again*


- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your past - there's a reason they didn't make it into your future.
- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2008
Mon, 03-24-2008 - 12:13pm

Yeah- my ex bf said he loved me 2 hours before he broke up with me. When I asked him why he kept saying he loved me, he wanted to work it out, and talked about having kids with me just a few hours before....he said and I quote: "I was confused. When I left the house after our date to think about things- I was leaning toward YES. When I got back home, I was leaning more toward NO." (Mind you- he left because the other girl called him. I guess she un-confused him.)

I don't understand how they can do that either, litgirl!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2008
Mon, 03-24-2008 - 1:17pm
Mine was confused for about 4 weeks or so...I have no doubt he found someone else or he decided that clubbing and getting phone numbers was more exciting than being in a relationship. He says he is looking for excitement. I say...good luck and GROW UP! I really don't know if I will ever trust a man again. Feeling angry today! Both our guys are pretty much tossers...we deserve better!! xx
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2008
Mon, 03-24-2008 - 1:27pm
at least you are angry!!! I am still sad...especially knowing that our talk tonight will do no good. *sigh* If you want to chat shoot me an email! Hope you are okay!!!

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