He is engaged, why is he still bothering me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2009
He is engaged, why is he still bothering me?
Tue, 05-24-2011 - 10:14am

Ok long story short, ex of 6 year dumped me back in august 2010 started dating someone the same day, cheated on her and talked about her like trash, led me on and got engaged all in 6 months!.....

Anyway, life has been going ok..I have lost 54 lbs and I feel healthy. I got into nursing school...so Im excited about August. I still think about the ex everyday but it doesnt really bother me. People still come up to me asking when we are going to get married.... >_> thats annoying...about a month ago my ex sent me an email apologizing. Knowing him the way I do, I knew this wasnt a mature or sincere apology. I ignored it....for the rest of the week he calls me from blocked number, stalks my facebook page, email me, yahoo messenger me to get my attention. I finally gave in and was like if you are really sincere you would come and say it in my face...because like I said I know how he is...he told me he would do it.....not even two hours later he sends an email saying "We cannot meet. I only wanted your forgiveness which I have already asked. I am about to get married and it is for real. Please do not respond back"....that sneaky jerk went and told his fiancee which is fine...but i know he made it seem like I was the bad person....he is the one who stalked me for a whole week! Im sure he didnt tell her that!...I finally was like forget it. He still bothered me! I told him I forgave him just so he would leave me alone...he was so happy "Oh I didnt mean to hurt you I just made many bad decisions. I am trying to be a better man now".....OK who cares!?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Tue, 05-24-2011 - 10:57am

You dated him for six years... You know why he's bothering you. He is a cheat and a liar and a user. This kind of stuff works to get him into a woman's pants. I can't tell you what is wrong with him because I'm not a psychologist, but I do agree that something is wrong with him, and what it is doesn't matter as long as you're smart enough to ignore him.

In life, you will meet many people who are impossible for you to fully understand because they are driven by something completely different, in completely different ways.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Tue, 05-24-2011 - 10:59am

LOL this sounds more like a vent than anything.


Community Leader
Registered: 01-03-2004
Tue, 05-24-2011 - 1:39pm


Hi. I think you've done the right thing by ignoring your Ex's attempts at communication previously. Now you need to block him, filter him, etc. and stop allowing him to harass you via electronically.

He's shown himself to be unfaithful before and now he's doing it to someone else. Too bad she'll probably find out after their married! He's a typical cheater, too, in that he's never really sure whether he can stay faithful to one person so he's trying to hedge his bets and see if you're still interested (at least in sex) so he always has a hook up. Do yourself a huge favor and forget him.

Focus on getting ready for school this fall, and enjoying the fact you aren't hooked up with this guy any more. If anyone asks you again about whether you're getting married smile and say brightly: "He is!" And keep walking.

Congratulations on getting admitted to nursing training. You'll have a rewarding career and you'll meet lots of interesting people.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2002
Wed, 05-25-2011 - 12:06pm

You're right. What an A!! I think he's just trying to get a reaction from you, as his messages are laying on the "I'm engaged" thing a little thick. I think cutting off all contact would be the best thing. He's playing very hurtful games just to feed his own ego, and you don't deserve that!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Wed, 05-25-2011 - 3:44pm
It's not necessary to be either friends or enemies with this guy, or any ex-lover. To you at this point, just leave him to the past and as nothing in your future. Cut him out, cut him off.

It really doesn't matter *why* he's doing what he's doing, your RESPONSE is all you can control and all that's important. If you want to be happy in your life, cut this guy out and off.

It's simple. For some people this cutting off of now-useless things or people is not easy. But it really is the most simple and direct solution.

Good luck!

Myspace Codes

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2009
Fri, 05-27-2011 - 12:36am

Yeah...I admit that I was venting a little...because I ALMOST replied to him in a nasty message but I decided to write on this wall instead! It helped! Cuz now I dont care right now...so Im glad I ignored him!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2009
Fri, 05-27-2011 - 12:41am

You are right. Im very glad I ignored him. I honestly have a 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you mindset' but I keep forgetting that everyone does not think like that....Thanks!