He FINALLY apologizes...
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| Tue, 01-09-2007 - 2:00pm |
So, I ‘m into my fifth week of no-contact and what happens? He (my ex) approaches me in our break room to say how he’s tired of me walking around the office like I hate him. I expressed to him that I didn’t hate him, but I took the break up really hard and the only way for me to deal with it right now is to avoid him. He apologized for everything that happened during our breakup and wished he would have handled everything differently. He also goes on to say that he was not the only one to blame, that I had my faults too. I told him that I felt the only thing I did wrong was react a little irrationally to the way he mistreated me towards the end. We went back and forth with that for a minute, but then he had the nerve to say that he still loved me. I told him that he didn’t know what love was because a person that claims to love someone does not blow them off the way that he did me for so long. And the conversation was over. For those who do not remember my last posts and want to know why we broke up in the first place, let me just say I really don’t know, other than the fact that he just gradually stop communicating with me. It was like he was just trying to fade me out of existence instead of coming right out and say he wanted it over. He played a lot of mind games that I simply got tired of, like breaking plans to do things together at the last minute, always being too busy to talk when I called, promising to return calls and don’t… just things to make me think he wanted it over, but every time I asked him if he was trying to break up with me, he’d always tell me no and that I was being paranoid.
Anyway, I guess I should feel good to have finally gotten an apology, but I don’t. Actually, it just felt like we broke up all over again. I thought I would be happy that he finally approached me, but it only made me sick to my stomach to have to talk to him after all this time. I didn’t see him as the man I once loved, but as a stranger that was harassing me. Isn’t it weird that after all this time of wanting to hear from him, that when it finally happens, I felt nothing like I thought I would? I thought I would be all giddy, but I wasn’t. Does this mean I’m finally over him? And if I am, why am I still so sad? Well, to look on the bright side, at least I got my closure, right? I wanted an apology and I finally got one. Thoughts, comments, and advice are all welcome. Thanks for listening.

hello.
personally i'm quite suspcicious when an ex apologises. especially after NC> its like a feeler - whats up? why aren't you stll after me? let me try all my old cards - i'm sorry...i love you ...lets see if she still wants me. glad you showed strength but nexttime dont even say much. you don't owe im any explainations. if he asks why are you avoiding me -say coolly what ever are you atlking about ? i've just been busy! now just enjoy yourself. watch him get mroe and mroe ocnfused. go out havea good time. he'll really wonder whats gotten into you. if he "loved" you he would be with you. thisis just to "see" whats up. why aren't you a wreck! dont cave! keep up NC! soon you'll be the one cancelling on him!! :-)
Yes, an apology only goes so far, doesn't it? Especially when they are qualified apologies like this one was. I've been glad to get them in the past, but honestly, they are just icing on the cake--I've realized we each need to find our OWN closure, not rely on an ex to "give" it to us.
And no, the fact that the apology doesn't make you giddy doesn't mean you're over him--you're just starting to accept that he's not right for you and you're in the process of moving on. Even with the apology, you need to continue with no contact--or as close to it as you can given the fact that you work together. That means you nod hello and keep moving--you don't chit chat with him and any contact beyond a nod hello is on a strictly professional, only when absolutely necessary basis.
Sheri
wow..your story kinda like mine....being cold feet...anyways i guess their doing that cuz their confused or either they dont want us to get hurt....but ofcourse it hurt more than they expected right???
well i know your feeling...your been waiting for the closure but in a different way...maybe just like me...i'm still waiting for him...but i'm on a BIG DENIAL..I DENY THAT I STILL WANTS HIM...I LIE TO MY FRIEND TO TELL THEM THE TRUTH ABOUT MY FEELING TOWARDS MY EX...YOU KNOW...when i talked to him..i pretend that i dont care...those kinda staff.....(wow actually this kinda relieved me) LOL (getting busted)
actually my ex bday is coming up....(sunday) but i'm not planning to call him or anything...i know i will look bad cuz he called and greet me on my bday...but still....heck no!!!
this time i want him to wonder why i'm not calling him anymore...just like the last time i talked to him..he was asking me why i'm not calling him..well for me if he wants me he needs to do some effort and show that to me...cuz if i stick around him he wont realized that right???
anyways i just wish everYone herE TO FIND THE RIGHT HAPPINESS IN THEIR LIFE AND TO FIND THAT ESP. SOMEONE.....ALSO I HOPE NO ONE SUFFER FOR HEART BREAKS....I HOPE EVERYTHING IS MUTUAL....
GOOD LUCK...