He Has a New Girlfriend - I am so sad!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2004
He Has a New Girlfriend - I am so sad!
2
Sun, 08-22-2004 - 12:37pm
My bf of 21/2 years broke up a little over a month ago. We had a rocky few months prior to that. I knew he had met a girl a few days after our break up. Well, he called me this morning after no contact since the break up because he had heard that I was going to be at a concert that they are going to next weekend. There is a small band opening at the concert... which was kind of "our band". He told me today that he didn't even know they were opening. He called this morning to let me know that they would be there, in case I could not handle it.

You know what? I can't handle it. I was going to go there with a date, too. But I have just been casually dating... there is no way I could start a new relationship... it is too soon. But it hurts so bad to hear him say that he has a girlfriend. But most of all it hurts that he will be sharing the band that "he fell in love to" with me with someone new.

I am so upset because I have been doing so well. I have not contacted him. I have kept busy and I have played it all very well. Because I don't think anyone would know that he is constantly on my mind.

I am sure his new gf won't last long. She is 22, he is 27. She is a very good Christian who is waiting until marriage for sex... he loves sex. He cannot commit, so I don't think they will last long.

I have a feeling he jumped into something new because that is how he deals with his emotions... he distracts himself with new things. But I am still so sad. How come he is fine and having a good time and things seem to be getting harder for me?

I am so sad.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2004
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 2:56am
Update...

He called back this afternoon. He apologized. We talked for an hour. It turns out that he is dating another girl, but he feels that there are no strings attached. He does not have to check in with anyone. She does not sleep over (because she won't). He said he is just having fun dating someone new.

He said he misses me a lot, things about me often and ended the converstaion with "I love you and always will."

I don't know... but if you had a new girlfriend.. shouldn't you probably refrain from saying those things to your ex girlfriend.

The thing is... I love this guy so much. I could never get back with him anytime soon because of all of the hurt we have been through. But I absolutely hate the fact that he has a new girlfriend in a matter of weeks.

Why does he get to get away without feeling sad... getting the best of all worlds... while I am home sad about this. I am moving on, but I really hate this. Any advice or words of encouragement to help me get through this very rough time?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2004
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 9:55am
Get angry with him. Frankly, he sounds like a jerk. Forget about why he'd be telling you these things if he was serious about her, why would he be telling you he's having sex with someone else but she doesn't sleep over, if he had any respect for you and your feelings?! Seriously, that is callous to an extreme degree (and I know callous, I dated the textbook definition of him for almost 2 years). How would he feel if you'd broken up with him, knew he still loved you, but just felt you had to share that you were having tons of fun having casual sex with a guy with an enormous penis? He'd be devastated, right? You'd never do such a thing, right? Even if you weren't in love with him anymore, you have basic human compassion, right? Get angry, this was a crappy thing for him to do, to talk to you about his new girl, and to play head games with you by telling you he loves you. What a jerk.