He hurt me so much

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2004
He hurt me so much
2
Thu, 11-18-2004 - 7:37pm
My boyfriend and I had been together for a little over 11 months and he breaks up with me out of nowhere. We had the perfect relationship, everyone thought so. He broke up with me on a Monday(the 8th). The Thursday before he was really sick and called me to go up and see him and take care of him. He said that he wished we weren't so far apart(2.5hrs). I agreed and went up to take care of him. On Sunday everything was normal, we had sex and he told me that he loved me and that i was the only person who made him 100% happy and that I was the only person who was always there for him no matter what. Everyone thought we were gonna be married someday. We were gonna move into an apartment in January when he finished college.(i've already finished and have a job). We decided that Sunday that this wasn't the best right now because of financial reasons (we both still live with our parents) He told me that he didn't want to break up because of the distance and that we could work out a new plan. Then on Monday he calls and breaks up with me. I found out that he had feelings for anohter girl. This girl is the 1st girl that he has actually gotten to know, and shown interest in him, since he and I have been together. He has since already started a relationship with this girl, adn they are already telling each other that they love each other.
During our relationship there were other girls that liked him, but they liked him before he and I got together and he wanted nothing to do with them. Since he broke up with me he really hasn't spoken with friends or family. His mom tried to talk him out it after he did the breaking up. Does anyone have any advice as to why he would do this? Could he be tyring to figure out if I am the one he is supposed to be with? Any advice will be apreciated. Thanks for listening
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2004
Thu, 11-18-2004 - 7:41pm
I wanted to add one more thing. I really really loved this guy and I still do. He said he lost feelings for me, but I have talked to him and got him to admit that he still loved me and still had some feelings for me. He said he hadn't had feelings for me for about a week before he pulled this stunt. Again any advice would be appreciated.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2004
Fri, 11-19-2004 - 8:26am
I wish I could give you a big hug because you sound like you need one. I know how you feel because I was in the same boat only a few months ago. You are going to be ok. You will survive and will move on and will find love again someday. Just give yourself time to grieve and get over him. You are allowed to take as long as you need, there are no time limits on this. The best thing you can do for yourself is to have no contact with your ex. It is hard and it does hurt and you will have moments of weaknesses but it is for the best. As upsetting as it sounds, no contact is the only way you will be able to get over him. You do not deserve this and do not do anything to make this happen. Unfortunalty, your bf sounds like so many other men these days who do not know what good thing they have and go off looking for greener pastures. I promise you that you will get better, that the hurt will go away and you will be able to be yourself again. Although you might have to live moment by moment just to get through the day, time is your friend because it does eventually heal everything. Just know that you are not alone and that everyone on this board is here for you and know exactly how you feel. If you get upset or lonely or have an overwhelming urge to contact him, log on and "talk" to us. There are some really amazing people on here with some amazing advice or at the very least a shoulder to cry on.