He just callled- wants me back

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2004
He just callled- wants me back
4
Fri, 04-21-2006 - 8:08pm

He just called & poured his heart out to me..how he's been miserable these past 3 weeks & can't stop thinking of me. He said he loves me so much & has never had anyone make him feel like this or think about his future so much. He said he freaked himself out, and regrets being so self-destructive. He said when he called me 3 weeks ago, he did not intend for our conversation to end in a break-up. He said he didnt know how it came to that & has been regretting it ever since. I told him I am having a hard time trusting him & how do I know he's not going to do it again. He said he understands & know he's got alot of making up & proving to do. Said he has never felt so lost & alone w/out me.

I do love him & want things to work out between us so bad. I truly have never felt this way about anyone. But, I am so scared to get hurt again. I agreed to see him tomorrow & said I don't know what is to happen w/us because I don't trust him or his words right now & only time will tell. he said he understood & is willing to put 100% into it....

Other issue- I am VERY close to my parents & they everything that has happened. To say that they hate him now is an understatment!! How do I clear the air??? I won't tell my parents I am seeing him, i will see what unfolds in the next month or so & re-evaluate... but, this is a sticky situation now

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2006
Fri, 04-21-2006 - 8:24pm

WELL DO WHAT YOU THINK IS RIGHT ANYWAYS YOUR THE ONLY PERSON COULD TELL/FEEL THE REAL FEELING OF YOUR BF...

GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANGE WHY NOT YOU LOVE HIM AND ABOUT YOUR PARENT THEY WILL UNDERSTAND THAT TRUST ME. COZ THEY BEEN TO THAT SITUATION BEFORE.

GOOD LUCK

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-21-2006 - 9:01pm

If he has commitment issues, then this is classic behavior...as soon as the self-imposed "pressure" is off, they regret what they did and come crawling back. But then they run again just as you're settling back into things.

Only you can decide if he's worth the risk. It is *possible* that he really just did make a mistake and that he really is capable of being in a healthy relationship. If you do decide to give it another try, then take things *very* slowly and see what happens. As for your parents, I would just tell them that you know you are taking a risk, but you feel you need to give him the benefit of the doubt and you will take full responsibility for your choice if you end up getting hurt again.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Sat, 04-22-2006 - 1:15am

While it is great to have a support system and be close to your parents, this is the prime example of what happens when you share too much emotional, intimate relationship things with people outside of that relationship. They takes sides, namely yours and now if you want to go back, you have to fight them too.

Let us know how tomorrow goes.


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Sat, 04-22-2006 - 11:50am
I want to be honest here...I think his behavior is too strange for you to get back into a relationship with him. He had no regard for you with the way he let you quit your job and change your life around and just ripped the rug out from under you. That was also messing with your basic needs of food and shelter. From everything you have written about him, I think he has some sociopathic issues. Sorry to sound so harsh when you love this man so much, but it is very possible that he met someone else and started to see her when he broke up with you. Three weeks is usually a good cut-off point for a person to put yet another person at bay. And he came crawling back to you when it didn't pan through with the other person. The bottome line is that what he did to you was so horrible, if he is capable of that once, then he is capable of it again. What will it be next.
I think there are a lot of red flags about this person. I know it's hard when you are blinded by love, but there is probably a good reason your parents and other people even on this board are telling you that something's not right with this guy.