He just ended the engagement. HELP.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2006
He just ended the engagement. HELP.
1
Sat, 01-19-2008 - 5:16pm

We have been together about a year. He's in the military, stationed in Japan. I went to visit over the summer and since I have been back things have been rocky. We evidently just suck at long distance dating.


I loved him unconditionally. Yet, I was always testing him. I guess I just didn't think I was worthy of his love, or I was cynical that real love actually found me. I pushed him away with my threats to break-up. A fight would ensue, I would get frustrated and say things like "maybe we shouldn't be together".


We had a discussion and things just escalated. During the whole thing he said he had been happy, wouldn't change a thing, didn't want to break-up, etc. By the end of it, he had dumped me.


He says he still loves me but doesn't see a future with me right now. I guess our rocky ways finally took its toll. He said we can talk in a few days and see how it goes. He said he has been known to be wrong and might change his mind. I know he really loves me and he does seem still conflicted.


Is there anything I can do to fix this? Is there any hope for us?


I KNOW I need to work on my insecurites, I don't know how to convey to him that.


What is my best plan of action? I am really hurting and blaming myself.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 01-19-2008 - 5:24pm

I'm sorry you're dealing with this, that has to be painful, especially long-distance.


I would take advantage of the opportunity and get into counseling *pronto*.