He lied about his age!!!!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2006
He lied about his age!!!!!!!!!
5
Sun, 09-16-2007 - 8:03am

Some of you may have already seen the discussion I originally posted. The man I had been seeing had been unable to set boundaries with an interfering ex. Well he actually came around on that issue and agreed to set limits.
However all of that has been blown into the background. I found out he has lied about his age. He told me he is 23......well actually he is 31.
But its not only me. Its everyone he has met in Melbourne. All my family, friends, acquaintances, everything.
I, and my closets friends, are just in total shock about it. Ive fallen head over for this person. Not for a moment did I think he would deceive me.
The worst part is I still care deeply for him. I just cant seem to hate him right now. I cant understand why he would do it in the first place & then keep it up? Why he didnt confess when he realised I was getting emotionally involved? What makes a person do that?

I am totally shattered. He says he still cares for me alot, feels that i didnt deserve it, that he should have said something sooner. But at the same time unashamed, not moved to show guilt, seemingly unregrettful, not caring that he has disrespected & disregarded so many people or that he has hurt me so much. He made no attempt to apologise sincerely, let alone beg for forgiveness.

If I hadnt inadvertently found this information, I would be blissfully unaware right now. I would be proud that he'd decided to lay boundaries, and ecstatic that he had put me first. I am just in absolute disbelief............

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sun, 09-16-2007 - 9:33pm

Hi jewelz23,


Here are your previous posts so others can catch up on your story - the first two are from a year ago, are you still dealing with the same guy? If so, go back and re-read your posts and the replies you got....it can help you see things differently.


Should have seen it coming......


Hurts so Much - My Vent


He wouldnt set boundaries with his X...


How old are you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2006
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 5:47am

Sorry for any confusion. The only post relating to my current situation is the "He wouldnt set boundaries with his Ex". Both others relate to my previous relationship. Not having much luck am I?

I am 24. I believed myself older than him. He easily gets away with 23.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 12:50pm

What have you decided to do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2006
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 8:42pm

I honestly dont know what to do...... I seem to be analysing every aspect of it.
I guess Im torn down the middle, because I HAVE fallen for him. My friends and family are reassuring me that "of course you would still be", as much as Im fighting it. They also unanimously agree that his feelings for me are true too, that he couldnt have been pretending it.
My mother, as calm and as casual as she took this news, firstly suggested that perhaps I contact one of his friends, someone who has known him (and his age) for longer, and basically find out more about him. DO YOU think this would be worthwhile? I do have access to the email of a ex gf of 3yrs ago, that he had a 3yr living together relationship.
She or someone like that, might be able to answer a big concern, which is, is he PRETENDING to be a younger person, impostering a different life for various gains? or is he naturally young at heart, someone who relates better to people with the same common interests, people who are younger?
How is a 31yo supposed to act? myself and my support group of friends are stumped. As far as we know he has no one or nothing tying him down. So how is a person with no wife, kids, mortgage supposed to behave?? All we known is that they shouldnt lie.

As for no contact this all started a mere 2 days ago. I saw him yesterday, met him in public to return his stuff. Even after I handed it back he still sat across from me. Not looking at me, but not moving. Eventually I asked him if he was going to do something about it (his lie), now that I know. His reply was he didnt care. I said "Sorry to sound repetitive, but if you 'dont care' then why did you do it?". He couldnt and didnt answer. He said, yes you are being repetitive. Thats all, and he continue to sit there. Finally I asked if he had anything to say to me. He said no. I said bye and left, whilst he didnt move, just sat there. It was almost like he wanted to be around me, like it used to be, but he didnt have the guts to say it or felt he didnt have the right to request it.

Another thing, do I tell his ex gf? the girl he saw before me? he claims she doesnt know, that I am the first person to find out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 1:08pm

::Another thing, do I tell his ex gf? the girl he saw before me?


For what purpose?