he loves baseball more than me

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
he loves baseball more than me
1
Fri, 05-11-2007 - 7:51pm

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years now. Our relationship was great, so when he unexpectedly broke up with me 4 days ago, of course I was crushed. My boyfriend is a college baseball player and lives in a town about 2 hrs away and I live in our hometown. But even through the distance, we've always made it work. He had a really great season this year. He made all state and became the best player on his team. I think that all of it went to his head and shot his ego right up. Lately he has been talking of going pro next year. When he talked about these big dreams, I was always included in the picture. We were supposed to get married and spend the rest of our lives together. Through all of it, I have always been completely supportive. I attend all of his games that I can and even though I work 2 jobs and I am a full time student, almost every weekend I drove the 2 hrs to go see him and when he could, he drove to come see me. This summer, he had planned to come home and work for his father for the summer. So of course I was elated that our whole summer would be spent together.

The other day, he reveals to me that he planned to play summer ball on a traveling team and would be gone most weekends. I was angry that he did not even bother to discuss any of this with me. So we had a little fight that ended with him breaking up with me because I was not supportive enough. Since then I have received only one phone call that lasted about 2 minutes and a handful of text messages. In those, he said that he wants to focus on his future and that he would be moving to another state for the summer to play baseball. He says that he needs a break from me to take time to think about things. He has been utterly cruel, telling me that I need to leave him alone. He will not answer any phone calls and pretty much cut off all contact from me, but he sent in a text that he was not sure if this was for good. He said that he still loved me and he was sorry that he was doing this to me. He also promised that he would meet with me before he left. I really do not think that this is what he really wants. If it was, he would be able to talk to me and give me a real explanation for all of this. None of this is like him.

So now my seemingly perfect relationship is gone. I am crushed and confused. I don't know if i should hope that he will change his mind and realize that he is being completely ridiculous and prepare to let him go completely. Even if he does want me back, I don't know that I could ever forgive that he could let me go so easily. And I would always be jealous that baseball would be the real love of his life, not me. But on the other hand, I love him more than anything and I cannot imagine a life without him. So do I let go or keep hoping?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2006
Sun, 05-13-2007 - 10:04am
I know that it is difficult, but you have to let him go to live his dream. If you give him his space now there is possibility that he will come back, but if you keep trying to contact him the chance of that goes down. I am in a similar situation, where my bf broke up with me when he started law school. We got back together several months later, and it's been a struggle. You will have to consider if you want to be in a relationship with someone whose first priority is their career. That is what I struggle with a lot. He treats me well when we are together, but then he is gone for weeks at a time. The real danger here is wanting him to choose you over his dream. It won't make either of you happy. He doesn't love 'baseball' more than you, but he loves himself and is looking out for himself and his future.