He loves TWO women?!?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2006
He loves TWO women?!?
4
Wed, 02-22-2006 - 8:51pm

I have been with my boyfriend for two years, living together for one. We are each others best friends. We had plans to marry, have kids, the whole nine yards. I honestly thought he was "the one." I never thought we had problems, because well, we didn't. His ex moved back into town a month ago. They hung out as friends, and now he tells me that he still loves her...but he still had feelings for me. We broke up, because obviously he needs to decide who he wants to be with. What makes it hard is, I am still in love with him--and we live together. I can't afford to live on my own, i work part time and am still in school. I also don't have any close family. He told me I can stay there, and he still cares about me. I understand that he needs to explore his feelings for his ex. Because we can never move on until he is POSITIVE I'm the one he wants. But it's sp hard! I know I need to move on, holding onto him is only going to make it worse! But I literally have no option but to live with him. I moved to this city for him, I have no close friends to crash with...I feel stuck. I love him with all my heart, but he is in love with two women!!! How is this even possible????? HELP!!!

Danielle

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2006
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 7:57pm
dont allow him to do that to you coz believe ME you be suffer sooner later....just like what happen to my friend long time ago his boyfriend is dating to ladys at same time like yours....they both end up getting pregnant wth same guy...i mean whos going to suffer later <<>> LET HIM CHOOSE IF HE LOVE YOU HE WILL STAY FOR YOU AND IF HE CHOOSES HER RESPECT HIS DECISION!!! BETTER LET GO....AND MOVE ON...AND START THINKING ABOUT YOUR KIDS FUTURE!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2006
Thu, 02-23-2006 - 11:46pm

TWO only? I have loved more women than King Solomon. Sorry, bad joke.

Seriously, it is indeed possible for a man to love more than one woman ( I guess it also can be happen in reverse ) but he will always love only one woman above all the others unless that man is just a sex addict who cares about nothing except fulfilling his/her own lusts and sees everyone of the opposite sex as just someone else to use for their own sexual pleasure.

For example, in the Bible we read of men having multiple wives but that does not mean that God approved of it. In almost every instance it created a rivalry among the wives for the husband's affections and the husband usually showed favoritism toward one in particular above the others. As for King Solomon, he loved many women and had over 700 wives and concubines but he was living in disobedience to the commandment of God. God's ordained plan and will is ONE man and ONE woman to be joined together until death separates them. If you do not seek God's will in the matter before you marry you may end up in a bad marriage or after you marry you may end up meeting someone you wish you had waited for.




Edited 2/23/2006 11:50 pm ET by throughtheringer
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2006
Sun, 02-26-2006 - 8:57pm
I'm in almost the same exact situation as you. My boyfriend of 8 years just told me (TODAY!) he's in love with another woman. He cheated on me with her last week, and apparently they've only been interested in each other for two weeks (they work together though). I really think it's a crush and something to do with his fear of marriage. We moved out to California, and I don't have anyone to live with. I know I'll be able to make it financially, but emotionally I don't know. I've never lived alone before, and I don't think I can do it. We discussed getting engaged this year, and all of a sudden he springs this on me. I'm devastated and in shock. He says he still loves me, but he doesn't know if he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. So, I've told him he needs to explore this relationship with this girl and move out. And, then I guess we'll see what happens. I wish I knew what to do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2005
Mon, 02-27-2006 - 2:02pm

I'm sorry your boyfriend has suddenly dropped such a bomb on you.

Nikki