He made contact....

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
He made contact....
9
Wed, 02-20-2008 - 7:32pm

I posted last week when my boyfriend of about a year(living together for 6 mo.) broke up. I was patient and didn't make contact. He started text messaging me almost all day for the last 2 days. The conversations were innocent and he turned them into flirty and a bit sexual. Today we were talking about meeting up for a bit, but once I was starting to try to finalize plans he acted as though we didn't even talk about it. He said "I will call you tonight if Im not doing anything." What is that supposed to mean? Why would he get so distant so fast? I asked him why he went from wanting to see me to not at all interested. He replied saying that he never said he didn't want to hang out. I told him to not play games and he said he wasn't and didn't want to argue about it... I got my hopes up. What do I do now? Wait for him to get over it and start talking to me again? Or confront him about it and potentially push him away. I love him and I really want things to work out. We broke up because he needed his independance back and wanted to be able to come and go as he pleases without having to tell/worry about me. He said he wasn't too sure what he wanted right now and that he hasn't thought about it yet. Advice?

Update- I had told him that I felt as though I was being led on and that I was getting my hopes up. He appologized and said he would stop. But he hasn't stopped.. It has only gotten worse. And I know its dumb, But I checked his Myspace and it still says he is in a relationship and my picture is still on it... Is that odd?




Edited 2/22/2008 8:23 pm ET by court_bee
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2006
Wed, 02-20-2008 - 8:20pm

He's obviously very confused about what he wants and it's good that he's been honest to you about needing independence.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-20-2008 - 8:34pm

I just posted today about a setback caused by my ex making plans to see me last night then blowing me off.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Wed, 02-20-2008 - 8:37pm
Thank you so much. I feel the same way, I just cant help but feel like I am being led on. But I look him in his eyes and I know He loves me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2006
Wed, 02-20-2008 - 8:47pm

He must be a good person for you to love him, and he probably does really love you, just based on the information you've provided.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Thu, 02-21-2008 - 1:34pm

court bee.


I think everyone is missing the point here, did you listen to why you two broke up ? I think that is your answer of why hes being flaky. When men sense neediness, or suffocation, they backoff. It's natural. You two moved in after six months of dating? I'm a huge advocate of never moving in together until either an engagement or marriage, or until you two have spent adequate time together (maybe 2 or more years).

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Thu, 02-21-2008 - 6:14pm
Yes, we did do our on thing. We Worked all day until around 6 and then We kept ourselves busy. Unless we went out to dinner or something. But, I dont understand why he wanted his space and then a few days later talk to me all day every day and flirt with me.. He is "just joking around" But, I dont understand. Thank you for the advice. It does help. I havn't called or text him to start a conversation. Should I take him seriously at all? What should I think about this?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 02-21-2008 - 6:45pm

Hi court_bee,


Go out and do your own thing - make a list of things you enjoy and start doing them. Don't wait for him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Fri, 02-22-2008 - 1:23am

personally, I think you work this out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2006
Fri, 02-22-2008 - 9:24am

I'm not a big fan of playing the 'let him chase you' game and then it's your turn to not respond for a while, make him wait, then respond.