He made contact. Now what?
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| Sat, 01-19-2008 - 8:03pm |
Hello everyone. I posted on here a little while back. Here is just a little back ground.
My ex and I were together for almost 9 years. He is 35 and I am 30. We broke up about 6 months ago. We were engaged for almost 2 years and were supposed to get married in Dec. of last year. It's been off and on for the first several years. Well the last couple of months have been a roller coaster. I dated 2 men but quickly realized that they were rebounds for me and that they were not who I was meant to be with. I tried very hard to work things out with him, but he is seeing a new girl that is 19. They have been together for almost 4 months. She and I have spoken 2 times and she knows that he is lying to us both.
He would physically be with her. As in doing things with her, calling her and such. We would only talk on the phone and he would tell me things like he doesn't love her, he wants to be with me, just give him space blah blah. He has said several times that he was scared that things would be the same and scared of being hurt. I understand that and I feel the same way. He would tell me this stuff then be with her. I have maintained no contact for a week solid.
Fast forward to last night. Keep in mind we have not seen each other in person since before Thanksgiving. He and I both have professional jobs.

....."So, my question is, should I get my hopes up that maybe this will work out. That she is really just a rebound? Do you think he really is scared and doesn't want to get hurt? That maybe he just needs time? I know it's not much contact, but at least it was contact.".....
No, he needs to get his head out of his ass. That doesn't require "time," that requires a backbone on both your parts. Tell him when he performs said head-ass extraction, you may be willing to hear him out, but until then, don't bother you. You either feel you're worth it or you don't. Do you?
Honestly! Women need to be more stuck up about this kind of stuff, and quit being quite so very understanding. Women aren't helping the males they love step up and become the men they really can be by enabling childish and confused behavior on their parts.
Good luck,
Hi vanillasmoothie21,
I hope you listen to Sandra.
I guess I'm a little more of a softie!!