is he missing me like i am him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2007
is he missing me like i am him?
2
Sat, 12-08-2007 - 7:07pm

Is

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Sun, 12-09-2007 - 9:06am

Hi shami_island,

It's very hard when a couple breaks up, and the emotions that are reeling around in the mind and heart make it VERY hard to think reasonably, rationally, logically, etc. After a breakup, it can be possible to be your own worst enemy, instead of your own best friend.

I read your story, and I understand completely that you miss him, but I want you to concentrate on one thing that seems to be tiny to you, but really isn't:

....."one of his guy friends and I got in a verbal confrontation and he ended up hitting me in my mouth so I smacked him back. I then got up from the poker table, went across the room and told my boy what had happened and he said, "what do you want me to do".."..... I'm pretty flabbergasted by the behavior of everyone involved, the friend, the ex, you. So basically, not only did another man hit you, but your boyfriend didn't do anything about it when you told him. That tells me he's perfectly okay with it. Instead of saying what you wanted him to do, though, you walked out. You should have told him, but then again, he shouldn't have had to ask.

To be honest, whether or not he's a more passive, quiet type or if he's missing you is actually irrelevant. He stood by and didn't do anything when someone HIT you. In the long run, this is someone you're better off without. Someday you'll see that.

Read these few articles, they may help. I'm concerned about your level of self-esteem, since you don't seem to be outraged by this behavior on their part towards you, or counting yourself lucky to be out of that. I understand your breakup is fresh and raw, it takes time for the heart to catch up with the head, at the same time, you don't need to be with someone who's okay with you being hit.

How to Get Over Your Breakup
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlbreaking&msg=21185.1

Letting Go of a Broken Relationship
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlbreaking&msg=24239.1

Breaking the Complusive Calling Cycle (it DOES apply in your case, drive-by):
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlbreaking&msg=20822.1

Zen of Doing Nothing:
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlbreaking&msg=21173.1

Good luck,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sun, 12-09-2007 - 1:25pm

Hi