He tried to contact.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
He tried to contact.
4
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 2:11pm

Brief rundown: We broke up a month ago, but I was in the middle of buying a car from him, so no contact wasn't possible. I finally got my car on Friday, so I figured that was the last of it. He had "moved on" immediately (6 days after the breakup with a girl he met while we were together). I removed him from MySpace Saturday morning after I got my car so that I wouldn't have to see his profile anymore and he couldn't see mine. The transaction was complete. He had a housewarming party for his new house on Saturday night, with his new girlfriend, and all her friends, and his and my mutual friends. I went home to see my parents because I didn't even want to be in town... near it. It really hurts to be replaced.

Today he sent me a myspace message: "I was going to send you a message to ask about your car, but I saw that you had removed me from your friends list. What's the deal?"

Um. He knows how hurt I am. All of our friends have been very upfront that his bringing a new girl into our friend group is very awkward for everyone involved. We all went out Friday night, and it was made apparent that the ex wasn't invited because he would bring his new girlfriend. I don't know why I'm over analyzing my response, but I just want to do the right thing.

I don't want to seem petty by just completely ignoring the issue. I don't want to break NC. I was thinking of ignoring the message until tomorrow, or I could just go ahead and respond:

"I'm loving the car. Thanks for asking. but to be honest, I deleted you from my myspace friends because I need time away from you. You've obviously moved on, but I don't want to have to hear about it or hear from you - even if it is through bulletin posts."

What do you think? Respond today or make him sweat?

Trying not to play games, but can't help it.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 2:14pm

I would send the message, but with just the first sentence. Rather than the 2nd sentence, say something like, "I'll be in touch when I feel ready to reconnect as friends".

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 2:16pm
I like that too... it's cool. Besides. He knows how I feel. No need to reiterate.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2006
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 4:11pm

I guess my question is...why respond at all? Or why state the friends when ready thing? Do you really want to be friends with someone who replaced you with someone they met WITH you?? Doesn't seem like friend material to me. If you really want to make him sweat, not responding will do more than you making him feel better by responding. Thats what it will do, regardless of what you say. Silence is the worst.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Mon, 08-20-2007 - 5:08pm

I responded:

"The car is nice. Thanks for the loaner during the car buying process, and thanks for your help. I will let you know if I would like to reconnect as friends. Take care."

So... I changed "when" to "if". Figured that was all the thought this whole thing required anyways.