Is he using me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2006
Is he using me?
3
Mon, 07-31-2006 - 2:36pm

We just broke up three weeks ago and we both agreed to be just friend. We've been together about one year. He sais he still love me and still care about me. Since he wanted to breake up with me, I still love him so much. One problem is that we are still having sex. He mentions that he doesn't want to give me hope of getting back together. Then why he still wants me? Is he just using me for free sex? I am so confused and I still want to be with him. Please give me some
advice...

wave1006

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: wave1006
Mon, 07-31-2006 - 2:44pm

Well, yes, he is--and you're letting him use you. He wants the benefits of a relationship (companionship and sex) with none of the commitment or responsibilities.

The best thing for you to do for yourself, hard as it is, is to stop seeing him or having any contact with him until you get over all romantic feelings for him. THEN (and only then) can you be friends--platonic friends (no sex!).

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2005
In reply to: wave1006
Mon, 07-31-2006 - 2:51pm

Ok, so he breaks up with you, says he doesn't want to get back together, but wil still have sex with you, all the while telling you that he still cares about you?

I think you should put a halt to this situation before it gets out of hand. If you break up, the sexual part of the relationship has to die too. If he cared enough about you (like he says he still does) he wouldn't be putting you in this situation. And on the other hand you shouldn't let it happen, for your own good.

If your confused, ask him exactly what you're asking here, talk to him to see what he has to say. To me...having sexual relations does not fit in the "not giving hope of getting back together" part of what he says.

good luck

V

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2006
In reply to: wave1006
Mon, 07-31-2006 - 3:19pm

I don't want to be brutal here, but of course he's using you.

Men are very good at separating love and sex. You've basically told him it's alright he broke your heart, you'll settle for whatever crumbs he can give. Your better than that.

If your having sex in the hopes he'll suddently realize he loves you, it's not going to happen. This man knows how great you are and told you he didn't want to be in a relationship with you. Stop rewarding him for bad behaviour.