HE WANTS TO COME BACK!!!!
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| Mon, 11-01-2004 - 12:11pm |
I haven't posted in a while, but have been checking out all that's been going on. Just to refresh your memories from early october, here is my initial post.
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlbreaking&msg=16583.1
I have had a really tough two months trying (emphasis on TRYING) to get over him. I love him dearly, but he decided to leave. And I couldn't change that. Well, yesterday afternoon I got a text message with the words I've been waiting to hear, and now I don't know what to do with them. He called, we talked, he came over, we had lunch, and then he left. I didn't sleep with him, but we kissed. I told him I needed some time to think about things, I told him I couldnt' just jump back into things. I asked him what changed his mind. He said he has had a very rough two months without me. That this time apart has made it aparent that I'm way too important to him. He said he was very sorry and he had been stupid to leave the best thing he's ever had. He says he loves me. And that he wants a serious committed relationship with me. He also says he's been thinking about doing this for three weeks, and that he decided he was sure and if he weren't, he wouldn't come back. I don't know what to think and I don't know what to do. I love him with all my heart. But I'm scared of falling on my face again after taking such a big risk. Some of my friends say I should do what my heart tells me to do. Some say, NOOOO WAAAY, act with your head. I'm not one for ultimatums. I think they are dumb. But I feel like this is where someone like Charlotte York would do that. Any thoughts? I love him...but I love myself more. So I must tread lightly here....but what to do?

The ball is in your court now so don't underestimate the "control" of the situation you have right now. It feels good doesn't it? Keep in mind how badly you felt when you had absolutely no control when he decided to leave. If you feel he is worthy of a second chance make him earn it so that he knows he can't just waltz back in your life, IF HE IS WORTHY HE WILL MOVE MOUNTAINS TO TRY AND BE WITH YOU. You have more of a reason to be cautious about letting him back into your life than you do about being impressed with him right now so there is no harm in letting him know that it will take time if you do want him back. He needs to re-earn your trust and that cannot be done overnight. Sounds like you were thinking clearly when you told him you needed to think things over, good for you!
Your friends are just being protective of you, I would listen to what they have to say (although you have to decide what is best for you). Often outside parties offer a good outside perspective when we are blindly in love with someone and don't always see the real side to things.