He wants to get back together.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2004
He wants to get back together.
12
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 10:50am
I did really well this weekend w/o him. I had a lot of alone time to think. Then, I get a call yesterday from him wanting to see our daughter. Code for "we need to talk about us face to face." Well, of course he waits till she's already in bed to make an appearance. We talked and talked and talked. Mostly about the good things and how we cherish those stil. But, we talked about the bad things to. His "problem" and how I can't help him w/that. There's only so much I can do. He promised to talk to me when he got the urge. That this week has been a reality check for him. How that isn't the person he wants to be anymore. But, I've heard this before and everything he's promising he's promised before. I hate being alone. No one likes being lonely. But, I'm just not sure what I'm willing to take to have someone standing beside me....sometimes. I just don't know. Part of me wants to give him another chance b/c I do love him and there are a lot of good things in this relationship. Then a part of me is saying HEY!!! What are you thinking?!?!!! Why am I thinking of jumping back into this? Have any of you been through this? Does it get better when you keep taking them back? Do they finally offer something you want? I should run shouldn't I? I'm so confused....Help me please. He's coming back over tonight and I really need to make up my mind. Thanks.

Melissa

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
Fri, 09-10-2004 - 12:55pm
Hi, First I have to say that I have never been married and I dont have children, but I was recently with someone for almost 3 years..and I can say at least for me it didnt get any easier just to take them back on promises that things will be different. Things for me were different for almost 3 months and then things slid back into the way that they were before. I believe that people only change when THEY want to..you cant make him change. However it is possible that when he said he had a "reality check" maybe he really did and he possibly is ready to be different but you also said he said that before. Melissa, untimatly it is your decision as to what you do and I hope that you do what you feel is right in your heart. And know that your not alone. :-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2004
Fri, 09-10-2004 - 10:13pm


Take it from someone married 17 years and also recovering from recent unfaithfulness from a boyfriend of 2 years. They NEVER get better when you keep taking them back. They NEVER finally offer something you want. Better to stop the make-up break-up cycle now. Good luck.

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