he wants me to move out but not break up

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2007
he wants me to move out but not break up
3
Fri, 02-02-2007 - 9:19am
My boyfriend wants me to move out, but he doesn't want to sever ties. he says i need to "find myself", and that i "wont know what i had til its gone", but he doesn't want to break up. Am i stupid to go along with it? I fear that we will never be back to where we were, the relationship that we had living together. that there will be many nights of he/i wondering what the other one is doing, etc. If i move out, should i sever all ties? make it official? does this have a chance of working? my emotions are all over the place right now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2003
Fri, 02-02-2007 - 10:54am

So basically he wants to have his cake and eat it too. Sever ties with him, don't put your life on hold while he "finds himself"

If it's meant to be you will find your way back to one another.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 02-02-2007 - 11:14am

astra81...

PG thinks you need to ASK YOURSELF HONESTLY..."can I live with this new arrangement?"

You've been with the man for awhile, but there's obviously something about your personality that he doesn't care for? Just because the SEX is great doesn't mean the entire relationship is?

Sorry...but if you have doubts about your b/f's fidelity after you're no longer in the picture...TAKE A TIME OUT AND BREAK CLEAN! Worrying about what "the other partner" is doing is a waste of your time!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2005
Fri, 02-02-2007 - 1:38pm

I'm not that I understand, he "needs to find himself" or you, according to him ?

And "find myself" in what sense ? and what does it have to do with a relationship ? If somebody told me that, I would think that it's an excuse for something else.

Since I don't know what's the reason, it's hard to say, but I kind of think that the person who loves and respects you can't just kick you out and then expect that things go the same way. I think in a relationship both people have to decide what's best for them. So if you're not comfortable with moving out, you told him that and he still wants you to, I would probably break up.

Is it easy for you to move out ? Do you have somewhere to go, like your parents ? Or you need to rent a place ? In the latter case, it's more difficult, so the guy should be more considerate.....

And I would definetely not wait for something vague...like "finding himself"