He wants to see other People

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2005
He wants to see other People
1
Tue, 05-17-2005 - 5:49pm
He was/is my first love and I thought we would end up together. My Boyfriend and I were together for a year and 6 months until this past month. He told me that he wants to see other people and that he doesn't love me like he used to anymore. I understand that he's not ready for a serious relationship, afterall he is only 20 years old and is still in college. But it still hurts. Especially considering that he wants to be friends now and he gets upset with me because it hurts me too much to be friends with him. He says I'm being selfish and that I don't want him to be happy. He's completely wrong I do want him to be happy, but I want to make him happy and I would die if I saw him with someone else. I've tried being friends with him, but I end up putting my guard down and sleeping with him. He's always calling me to check up on me and he tells me that he doesn't want to lose me but he's just not ready for a serious relationship. More recently he told me to move on, because he is going to. If he wants me to move on and doesn't love me why does he keep on calling me? I just want to be happy and stop crying. Please help me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-1997
Tue, 05-17-2005 - 7:22pm

I'm really sorry you're hurting right now. Trying to cope with the pain of a broken heart is never easy, but you will get through this and be stronger for it in the long run.

You asked why does he call you? My guess it would be to try to keep the door open with you so that he can have the option of returning, and for sex without the exclusivity.

What I'm going to tell you may feel totally foreign, but it's the best thing I believe you can do at this point:

CUT HIM OFF.

Don't call him, don't e-mail him, don't talk to him. He told you to move on and believe it or not, that's EXACTLY what you should do. Do it for YOU so you can begin the healing process and get over him.

It will take time, but eventually, you'll stop thinking about him and learn there are so many other guys out there who are worthy of you and all you have to offer. If he's too stupid to see it, then obviously hon, it's his loss.

Hang in there and be strong.

Heymum