He Was Online Chatting To Other Women!
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| Wed, 11-15-2006 - 11:44am |
I'm not sure what to do with my current situation. Last weekend I found my boyfriend of almost 2 years (1 yr 11 mos 1 week) was up until 3 am chatting on Yahoo Messager Chat Rooms with various women on my computer!! The next morning I discovered that in my online History it revealed most of the profiles that he looked at were of women with nude pictures of themselves up on their yahoo member profiles. When I confronted him about it he said he was bored and wanted to chat with someone. He stated that once he saw that their pictures were naked ones he closed the profile and stopped talking to them. That they meant nothing to him and that I am the one he loves. I told him I didn't believe that and he said he didn't think it would upset me because its just like looking at porn or those online porn sites. I didn't agree....its totally different because you arn't chatting with/talking to those women they are anonymous!!!! So this made me suspecious and I did some investigating and found out last night that he has profiles set up on Yahoo Personals and at least one other dating websites that I know of, possibly more.
I have been cheated on before online and this was how it started with that boyfriend (only he went to the full stage by meeting them and having sex with them) From the evidence I have found I don't believe that my current boyfriend has gone that far YET! But I'm sickened by this and upset and totally untrusting of him! The worst part is that he is so loving, thoughtful and seems to really love me (and tells me so) which only makes it all the worst because its the worst kind of liar! To my face he says he loves me but behind my back he talks to other women and these are the types of women who show their naked bodies to everyone under the sun online!!!! You know they can't be online innocently chatting it up with every fellow who comes along!!!!!
I'm thinking I should end the relationship....after all that we have been through and the trials of making it work thus far I can't believe he would risk losing me over something like this! I don't know what to do about it....I'm so hurt....so shocked....feeling so foolish for having stuck around so long!! I haven't confronted him about the recent information I've found (the profiles on dating sites) yet because frankly I'm still a bit too shocked and hurt to talk to him about it. Does anyone have advise? I really need help on this one! Thanks in Advance!

Yes, you should end it. A man who truly wants to be in a committed, monogamous relationship doesn't post profiles on dating sites. Period.
Sheri
End it now and get as far away from this guy as you possibly can.
In addition to the suggestion that you print out what you've found (profile, chat history) - Personally, I'd send him an email though his profile, telling him that it's over. "After the online chatting, I found your profile, therefore I am ending our relationship, as this has done irreparable damage. Please do not ever contact me again."
Make sure all his stuff is out of your place and don't answer his calls after you send it.
Carrie
If you can, get all your stuff from his place first, and then bail on this boy. Do it in whatever way is right for you, but I'm with everyone else on this one.
I too was shocked that my guy who would stroke my arm sweetly, kiss me and tell me he loved me had just slept with another girl the night before, under the same comforter. Some guys are just BS'ers and you can't believe a word they say, no matter how sweet it is. Sucks, but you deserve so much better.
Well, I'm in a very VERY similar situation...here's the bottom line- GO WITH YOUR GUT. No matter what- logic does not surpass your gut feelings in this situation.
My boyfriend was a part of a couple sites here and there, one being very sexual - he didn't delete his profile until I caught him. He also chatted with girls for a while at first when we started dating and I told him it was inappropriate and he had no trouble completely deleting his profile. I'm still with him because a part of me feels like he was just being a "guy" although another part of me is very distructing of that behavior. I'm confused as well, but the one thing I can tell you is that if you feel pretty insecure about him- then you definitely need to distance yourself emotionally and move on. If he's still doing questionable things- you can't risk your future on it.
Hope everything goes well for you! ***