He will not speak to me

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2005
He will not speak to me
2
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 2:38pm
I recently ended my year and a half relationship to relieve the pressure/stress it was putting on me. I am totally in love with this man but the relationship and my job made me a monster and I was unhappy. I had to make a change and I ended the relationship when I realized after breaking up and getting back together so many time, I was unable to trust him. I never thought would to cheat on me but he literally broke up with me 4 times because he was "mad". I'm not into playing games so it hurt me alot everytime. But I took him back, but I just couldn't trust him when he said he loved me and how much I meant. He was my bestfriend and I leaned on him so much. Now that I decided to take a break from the relationship he will not speak to me at all. He acts like I do not exist, and I know I am the one who ended this relationship but it doesn't mean I am not in love with him. It hurts to think one week ago he was there for me and now he won't speak to me. And another thing is I told him I wanted to "talk" before I broke up with him to let him know how I was feeling but he was to busy that night, so out of anger I broke up with him over the phone. Insteed of calling me to work it out like adults he has let it all go. What should I make of this?????
Avatar for iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-09-2006 - 5:07pm

I'm sorry you're going through this pain, but it sounds to me like if you wanted to break up, despite the fact that you love him, you sort of have to be understandig about his reaction. It sounds like you don't want him to be your BF right now but you still want the benefits of the relationship. Unfortunately, sometimes it just doesn't work that way. He may be feeling angry and rejected, which makes for a poor friendship. I also left my ex, even though I loved him very much. We did talk for about a month after I left. After a month I realized that we just weren't getting anywhere, so we stopped having any contact. I am now mourning the loss, and it's very hard.

After a year and a half it sounds like you had some good reasons for leaving him. You're just going to have to go with that and get through the pain as best you can. You have to respect his decision not to talk to you. Many people here who have been left come to the conclusion that to heal their hearts they have to cease all contact with the person who hurt them, whether that person loves them or not. If you really don't want him to be your BF, you just have to let him go and give him time and space to mourn. Perhaps when both of you are over this you can be friends again, but that may take some time ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 2:25am

I agree with iamdelightful, he's entitled to feel hurt and rejected by this just as much as you were entitled to feel the same when he broke up.

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