he wrote this. It's over i'm so sad
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| Fri, 12-02-2005 - 11:19pm |
Hey guys
he wrote me this tonight Now I know is OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am not avoiding you to be mean, although I know it hurts you. I just feel so bad for hurting you again. I can't talk to you or look you in the eye because I feel like a bad person. I let you down and took so much from you. There is nothing you can do about the way I feel and what I'm doing , I'm sorry. I just think I'm better by myself, without anyone, ever. I don't like the work or time or effort that goes into being in a relationship anymore. I don't know how it happened, it just did and I honestly feel that way. I feel horrible, how would you feel if you were me? I know you have always been nice to me when I've been sad and talked to me; and I'm sorry I'm not the same way. You know that one of my ways of dealing with this type of thing is to avoid it. Even though that helps me forget it sometimes, when something reminds me of you I feel like the worst person.
Also, I'm ashamed that I wasted so much of your time; and my feelings towards relationships changed without warning. I do love you; like I said before, you are possibly the perfect woman. Even if I did decide to be with someone again, I don't think I could ever be satisfied with them, because you set the standard very high. But I am glad I won't have to worry about finding someone, because I don't want to. Maybe I'm one of those men that are happiest by themselves and stay that way forever, I hope you are understanding. I can't even face people and tell them what happened. I figure I'll let them find out whenever they ask.
Thank you for considering me a friend. It shows how big of a heart you have. I don't deserve such kindness after doing all this. You can always email me, or leave a message. I don't know when I will have the balls to pickup the phone. It is very cowardly and immature of me, I know; but I don't want to feel worse.
Understand that I have never been friends with ex's . But I'm trying to be a mature person, someday I'll come around. It is difficult for me because someone got hurt and this time, I hurt you. I'm sorry I failed you and look like a liar. But I did not lie about loving you and the happy moments.
Now I feel there is Nothing for me to do anymore
what evrybody thinks ????? sad.gif sad.gif

Mine just ended too,but it was always a rollercoaster and he wouldn't commit.
He won't speak to me.
So what exactly do you mean when you said "there is nothing for me to do anymore"? I mean, from that email, yes, I would gather that things are really over. It's unfortunate that it happened, but that's life. In my opinion, that just means that there is someone better out there for you. From that email it sounds like your ex is really in pain, so at least you don't have to feel like he never cared or anything.
I know it's hard, but you need to let him and the relationship go. There are so many other things you can do, but you are right, as far as that relationship is concerned, there is nothing you can do. Try to focus on yourself and think about what you really want for your future (keeping in mind that he is not going to be part of that future). Then, go out and start working towards what you want.
It isn't going to be easy, but you can definitely do it. Just hang in there and post whenever you're feeling down.
-Nikki
co-cl of Breaking Up is Hard to Do!
I'm sorry you're hurting right now ... but I'm glad that he did at least attempt to explain what's going on with him.
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"You get what you settle for"...