Heart in a million pieces.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2006
Heart in a million pieces.
4
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 10:59am
My boyfriend of a year and 8 months broke up with me for no real reason last night. He said he was sorry, but we needed time apart, but he hoped we could still be friends. :'( I dont know what to do with my broken heart. We were very much in love and things were great. I feel like I can never love anyone like that again, I just never knew I could hurt this bad. I cant even eat and I could barely open my eyes this morning they were so swollen from crying. I just didnt know where else to spill out, and I don't know what to do now. Help from anyone would be appreciated.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2005
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 11:32am

I am sorry for your pain! But it might not be forever. It might just be a case of cold feet from your boyfriend because he's never felt love before and when they get scared, they run. If he says he just needs time apart, then let him have it. No crying, no pleading, just take the time and see what happens. Usually, if you don't make a big deal about it, men wonder what's going on and then want you back.

Just wait. Wait and see what happens. Everything can change in a moment. If it is suppose to be then you both will work it out. Give him the space and see what happens. I would try to distract myself with other things in your life - family, friends, whatever it takes for you to give him his space now.

Hopefully, it is just him scared and not knowing how to handle this. Try to be understanding and give him his space. If after a couple of days you don't hear from him - wait. Don't call, don't stop by, just wait. I bet you'll hear from him wthin 24 hours! Stay strong and good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2006
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 11:52am

Your story is very similar to mine but my boyfriend hasn't returned my calls since Friday and I am assuming that he also needs his space and got scared because both of us were very much in love with each other and then all of sudden he got distant and I know there is no third party involved. This is what I am thinking about doing is that if I don't hear from him this weekend, I am going to call one last time and if I get his VM I will just explain to him that I was hoping to hear from him but since he doesn't want to talk to me or show any interested in seeing me, that I am moving on. I figure if the guy hasn't called me in almost a week that I shouldn't make an effort to be with him if he is not going to do the same.

Hopefully, your guy will call sooner than later but don't wait by the phone. Go ahead and move on with your life without him in it and if he does call, make sure he gives you good reasons why he needed a break since you didn't get them in the first place. I just feel when guys need a break, that trust is broken and they have a lot of explaining to do.

Good luck and I know exactly what you are going through. I think last night was the first night that I didn't cry myself to sleep. I am here for you.

Avatar for iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 12:46pm

I am so sorry this happened to you. The first few days are always the worst. I'm about two and a half weeks into breakupville and no contact and I can tell you with certainty that it will get better. I realize you may not believe that now because at first the emotions are so intense and so raw ... but be sure of it, you will survive this.

So how do you get through the next few weeks? If you have friends, rely on them as much as you can. Feel your pain, cry every day, but try not to overindulge in it. It's ok to think about him. That's inevitable, but try not to think of things that are too painful, special things you did together or special times you had, try to push those out of your mind when they rush in.

Post here and read posts. It is helpful to know that other women have stood where you are standing now. Our hearts have also been broken, and we survived.

Do not, I repeat do NOT become friends with him right away. It's naive and stupid of him to think you can be friends after he has broken your heart. You may be tempted to try, and you will if you must, but most of us here have discovered that the only way we can truly heal is to initiate and maintain no contact.

You can also try reading How to Survive the Loss of a Love, which is free online here:
http://www.mcwilliams.com/books/sur/srtoc.htm

That book has always been helpful to me at the beginning of a breakup. Hang in there. Your heart is hurting now but hearts are tremendously resilient, they do heal ...

Many hugs to you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Thu, 06-22-2006 - 3:36pm

Welcome to the group, I'm sorry you had to find your way here, but as you can see, you'll get lots of support and plenty of helpful words and advice from the other survivors here.


It does feel horrible and painful, my own recent breakup came 'out of nowhere' too, but in time, I learned to see that some issues had been there all along, and most people see something or another after a breakup that they never saw while in the relationship.

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