Well, it said 13 weeks for me but I'm feeling much stronger already. I really don't see it taking until May to get over him, unless by "get over him" they mean that I won't think about him at all anymore and he'll be a distant memory. Already I find I'm thinking of him less and less. A week ago he was my first thought every morning, my last thought every night and pretty much on my mind all day long. I find it progress that I didn't replace him with another man like I would have in the past. I just found strength within myself.
It is funny. I got one year to heal from this break up. Uhhhhh, it's been 4 months...well 8 more months to go ;) LOL I know I'm not completely over it, but I know I will be eventually.
Yeah, it's hard to say what they mean by "over him" but for me, I figure I'm over someone when my thoughts are dominated about dating and seeing someone new instead of about my ex. That's just me though. But, I think it's great that you've found strength within yourself this time; I think that's the best thing any of us can do after a break up. Keep up the good work!
I am a man but men feel heartbreak too so I would just like to put in my 2-cents.
1. The Heart Repair Calculator:
It was a short relationship, if you can really call it one, not physical in any way but purely emotional. By my calculations, if this is thing is accurate, I expect it will take me about 30 weeks which is approximately 6 months but in truth I doubt that I will ever forget her completely for the rest of my life. My attraction to her was by far the strongest I ever felt for any woman I have ever met.
2. Music-Potent Medicine
I love music, especially contemporary christian music, and I listen to my ipod everyday. It has helped me tremendously to deal with the hurt, sense of loss and empty feeling. It also serves to remind me that the Lord Jesus must always be my first love and that I should never allow my love of any woman to take his place in my heart.
3. Write. Write. Read.
I was thinking about writing her a letter to express my feelings for her and give it to her on the day she leaves next month for her new job but decided against it when I realized that God would be displeased with it because this woman is not my wife and the love I feel for her is forbidden. I read my Bible everyday which also helps me remember that God loves me even if the woman I love doesn't.
4. Back in time - a trip home.
Yes, I have noticed that periods of loneliness does sometimes make me feel nostalgic and brings back a lot memories of the past. I never really understood why.
5. Regaining Faith.
I have faith and it is my faith which restrains me from doing what my deceitful and wicked heart wants me to do and doing what I know is wrong in the sight of God. I am living proof to myself that I can fall in love with someone else even though I am in a good marriage with a wonderful woman. I just wish I could have the same feelings for her that I do for this other woman I have met recently. I am hurting now but I know I brought it on myself by entertaining thoughts about her for too long. I have faith in God that He will bring me through it and to recover. He always has though I have been put through the ringer by a few women in my lifetime.
6. Step Six?
I really like the 'Faith' t-shirt but somehow I don't think wearing one of those is going to help me.
Yeah, well, after I did that I read that part in "It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken" where he says math calculations and matters of the heart do not mix. He says the time it takes you to get over a broken heart is directly proportional to the amount of time it takes you to decide you're going to be happy. (Or something like that.) In other words, YOU are the one in control of how long it takes you to heal and the longer you sit and wallow in your grief, the longer it will take. Sometimes you stare so long at the door that is closing, you miss all the doors opening in front of you.
I didn't read the whole site, but the calculator is pretty funny.
Well, it said 13 weeks for me but I'm feeling much stronger already. I really don't see it taking until May to get over him, unless by "get over him" they mean that I won't think about him at all anymore and he'll be a distant memory. Already I find I'm thinking of him less and less. A week ago he was my first thought every morning, my last thought every night and pretty much on my mind all day long. I find it progress that I didn't replace him with another man like I would have in the past. I just found strength within myself.
Steph
It is funny. I got one year to heal from this break up. Uhhhhh, it's been 4 months...well 8 more months to go ;) LOL I know I'm not completely over it, but I know I will be eventually.
aloha
-Nikki
co-cl of Breaking Up is Hard to Do!
Visit the Breaking Up is Hard to Do web page!
I am a man but men feel heartbreak too so I would just like to put in my 2-cents.
1. The Heart Repair Calculator:
It was a short relationship, if you can really call it one, not physical in any way but purely emotional. By my calculations, if this is thing is accurate, I expect it will take me about 30 weeks which is approximately 6 months but in truth I doubt that I will ever forget her completely for the rest of my life. My attraction to her was by far the strongest I ever felt for any woman I have ever met.
2. Music-Potent Medicine
I love music, especially contemporary christian music, and I listen to my ipod everyday. It has helped me tremendously to deal with the hurt, sense of loss and empty feeling. It also serves to remind me that the Lord Jesus must always be my first love and that I should never allow my love of any woman to take his place in my heart.
3. Write. Write. Read.
I was thinking about writing her a letter to express my feelings for her and give it to her on the day she leaves next month for her new job but decided against it when I realized that God would be displeased with it because this woman is not my wife and the love I feel for her is forbidden. I read my Bible everyday which also helps me remember that God loves me even if the woman I love doesn't.
4. Back in time - a trip home.
Yes, I have noticed that periods of loneliness does sometimes make me feel nostalgic and brings back a lot memories of the past. I never really understood why.
5. Regaining Faith.
I have faith and it is my faith which restrains me from doing what my deceitful and wicked heart wants me to do and doing what I know is wrong in the sight of God. I am living proof to myself that I can fall in love with someone else even though I am in a good marriage with a wonderful woman. I just wish I could have the same feelings for her that I do for this other woman I have met recently. I am hurting now but I know I brought it on myself by entertaining thoughts about her for too long. I have faith in God that He will bring me through it and to recover. He always has though I have been put through the ringer by a few women in my lifetime.
6. Step Six?
I really like the 'Faith' t-shirt but somehow I don't think wearing one of those is going to help me.
Edited 2/23/2006 10:36 pm ET by throughtheringer
Edited 2/24/2006 12:25 am ET by throughtheringer
Yeah, well, after I did that I read that part in "It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken" where he says math calculations and matters of the heart do not mix. He says the time it takes you to get over a broken heart is directly proportional to the amount of time it takes you to decide you're going to be happy. (Or something like that.) In other words, YOU are the one in control of how long it takes you to heal and the longer you sit and wallow in your grief, the longer it will take. Sometimes you stare so long at the door that is closing, you miss all the doors opening in front of you.
Steph