Heartbroken and Confused as H***

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Heartbroken and Confused as H***
1
Sat, 05-27-2006 - 10:50pm

I was with my boyfriend for 2 wonderful, happy years. We never lived together. He has 2 children 14 and 16 and I have a son 16. He had been in a couple of very bad relationships and he had a lot of commitment type problems. He always said he wanted to take things slow. I was always fine with that. We never got into the having the kids all meet each other and such. His last relationship which was a marriage that only lasted 6 months and whatever happened between them was disastrous with his kids (whom he gets 2 days a week) and he made a promise to the kids he would never bring another woman into the picture. However, I did finally meet his daughter (the 14 yr. old) I spoke to the kids on the phone and we left each other notes on the fridge. I only got to spend a little time with my bf because he works midnights. Between his kids and his work it didn't leave too much time for me, but he called me every morning before he went to bed when he got home from work and every evening before going in or when he woke up from sleeping. We never had ONE fight, we had a loving, caring, relationship. I didn't make any demands on him to push the relationship further and until about a month ago he finally was able to tell me he loved me. I let it slip one night when we were together, he didn't say anything at the time but when we were talking online later that night he said he was just surprised but that he loved me too. Even still I waited until he was the first to say the "L" word in person. After that it came easy for the both of us. Even so much as a month ago, he knew I was disappointed because I didn't get a job I had hoped for and he surprised me with a dozen roses. Yet, a week ago, I get an EMAIL, yes, an EMAIL from him saying we had a good two years but that for him it was time to "move on". Of course I have been devastated ever since. I got another email from him today in response to one I had written advising him how heartbroken I was and that he was the only one for me. The email today talked about how he never meant to hurt me, he had nothing but good memories of our relationship, and that he still cared for me but he felt he needed to move forward. But that I was a wonderful woman.

What am I supposed to make of all this??? His sister is even bewildered. He was married out of high school when he had his kids, could it be he feels he is missing something, or what??? I just don't know. Our sex life was wonderful, we never ever had any problems there. I just don't know...any ideas on what could have happened??? I know he would of never cheated on me..but could it be moving forward means he met someone else?? Why if he felt I was a wonderful woman????

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 05-28-2006 - 12:22am

Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry that he broke up with you by *email* after 2 years!!! That's just not right...you should at least get a chance to say goodbye in person and I think you should ask for that (although you may not get it).

But regardless of his terrible choice of method, trying to figure out the *why* of it is just going to drive you crazy. For whatever reason, he's decided that the two of you aren't right for each other and that's what you need to focus on.

Sheri