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HELP!
| Sat, 08-11-2007 - 12:38am |
I know this sounds weird, but I found out that my boyfriend of 4 1/2 years cheated on me with at least 10 different girls on several occassions. His ex-friend called me to tell me. Well, I confronted him and he lied at first. I then told him not to call me unless he was willing to be honest. He then confessed to everything. I'm still with him. I know, why? I ask myself that everyday. I feel like I'm mad at every girl he cheated on me with. He says I should "get over it and quit obsessing about it". I'm so mad at myself for putting up with this crap. He says that he won't "leave me alone" and that we "really love each other and are happy when we are together". I'm mad, hurt and I feel I deserve better. What is the best way to get him out of my life for good?

Welcome to the board isabana,
Well, I think as soon as you really KNOW and BELIEVE that you deserve better, you will kick him to the curb.
If he had meant to stop, I think he would have come clean with you. You shouldn't have had to force him to admit anything.
Logically, if you hadn't found out and gotten him to admit it then what....he'd delay his 'change of heart' until you found out? c'mon. If a guy means to change, he'd come clean instead of rationalizing that "uh oh, if i don't change I'll lose her". Furthermore, if he'd been cheating on his ex-fiancee, he should know you took a leap of faith with him...why betray it?
Don't torment yourself with whether or not he'll change for the next girl. If he meant to undergo some big epiphany with you, he'd have done it 10 girls before, not after you cornered him. Any guy knows that the first time he cheats on his girlfriend, it's going to break her heart and usually the remorse is enough to get him to own up and stop. But he did it....and it did it again..and again...and again..and again. There is a clearly a lack of remorse and responsibility here. All his cheating is a result of "our relationship", not "I screwed up, I'm awful". Whatever words are coming out of his mouth, he's saying them to win you back, not because he feels badly.
And when you break it off, it's going ot hurt..a lot. But you'll get through it. And there's a world of guys out there that don't cheat and blame it on 'your relationship'. Bottomline is, it's not your fault. He cheats on everyone, and it's just bad luck you got caught in it this turn of the wheel. Hold on to your anger.
cheers
Susanna