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| Fri, 06-03-2005 - 12:09pm |
I know I keep posting a lot but I'm just at such a loss... I am having such a hard time focusing on work. I'm only 4 days into this break-up and can't imagine it getting much better any time soon. I can do "bits" of work at a time then keep coming here or into my hotmail to see if he's emailed, bad! Any advice on how to get through work???? So hard to focus. And the physical symptoms make it feel like I'm underwater not really taking place in what's going on around me..I'm sorry I keep "bugging" everyone : ( This is just so hard.

I know its hard - I remember going through the same thing during our first breakup. It WILL get better, even though I know its hard to believe that now.
I don't know how to make it any easier to focus or to shorten the recovery process - sorry. Try to refrain from checking you email so often - maybe tell yourself you will check once in the morning and once in the afternoon. It WILL just drag out your misery if you do start emailing or talking to each other. Trust me, trust everyone on this board who has learned the hard way. I can be fine for a couple of weeks and then he'll drop me an email and it starts the spiral all over again.
Don't try to think of getting over him - try to focus on getting through one day at a time. Each day of no contact is a day closer to feeling better.
Good luck and keep posting if you need reinforcement or support.
I took a day off from work to really wallow, then came back the next day and told my boss what had happened. He was incredibly supportive. I also told my closest colleagues and it made a huge difference. They cut me a lot of slack the first couple of weeks, gave me support and took me out for lunch to kept me distracted so I didnt spend my breaks obsessing, checking email, phone messages etc.
Is there anyone you can lean on at work? I mean everyone has been through a breakup at some point in their life, so I'm sure they can empathize.
Chin up. It may not get better right away but it will get more managable.
-adc
-almostdoesntcount
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Just look at it this way...you're 4 days into the breakup and you're able to do "bits" of work, that's a good thing! This is going to take time to get through, but you'll get through it! We've all been there at one point or another and each of us deals with things differently. I cried to my girlfriends when it happened to me and yes, I shut down for a while, just kept to myself, but things get better. It won't happen overnight, but you'll get there eventually.
And remember, don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened :)
(((HUGS)))
Honey, you're not bugging anyone! We're all here for you to lean on and offer advice, so post here as often as you like, okay?
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"You get what you settle for"...
Remember to treat yourself gently. You are a great person with or without your ex. The pain is there, but it won't be forever. I'm only a week into the breakup and I've talked myself hoarse venting, crying and just jabbering away at my house-mate. I keep apologizing to her but I realized that for a long time, I didn't talk like this to my BF about issues I had. Dammit if his immaturity and insecurity is going to cost me my own damn sanity. (hehehe - I've moved into the "anger" stage of the grieving process).
Post as many times as you want. Keep venting b/c you need to let it out until you're ready to let go. Distract yourself by checking for other postings and articles through the Breaking Up section on ivillage. Shop, workout, surf the web for anything to distract you from wishing, thinking, about him.
Lastly, don't de-value yourself by making him seem like the knight in shining armor. Believe you can do better for yourself and that someone who does love you will not make you feel this kind of pain.
((( BIG HUG )))