help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
help.
3
Fri, 03-07-2008 - 5:58pm
hi everyone.
it's only been 4 days since my ex boyfriend pretty much dumped me. it's still hard calling him my ex, and even harder accepting that he doesn't want to be with me anymore. during the last few days, everytime the phone rang, i'd hope it was him wanting me back but he never called until this morning. he called from work, but all he wanted to know was if it was okay if he took our 9 month old baby for a night next week. i said fine. he then asked if i was okay, and i said, "what do you want me to say? no, i'm not fine."
he just sighed a big sigh and just said he had to go back to work and if there was anything i wanted to talk about, i could call, but then also added he'd be busy this weekend, and that he doesn't know how to talk to me anymore and that we should cool it.
i don't know what he wants from me. how am i supposed to understand that?
part of me does want to call him up and just cry, plead, vent, convince him to take me back etc. but the other half of me doesn't want to have any contact at all - i am done chasing this guy around, making a fool out of myself for him.
but i do still love him. he is the father of my child, and i thought we'd be together forever, and i do want him back, desperately.
what do i do?
this is so hard. it hurts so much.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2008
In reply to: paradisochick
Fri, 03-07-2008 - 6:13pm

girl i understand.


i couldnt call him my ex either.(still pretty much have trouble with it). I miss him so much, so i completely understand your pain. he mayjust come around when he relizes that HE lost a good thing. HE is the only one missing out, and that's just HIS luck. and i bet he'll never find anyone who will treat him as good as you did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2006
In reply to: paradisochick
Sat, 03-08-2008 - 8:09am

Hi,

I'm sorry you are hurting so much and there's probably nothing I can say to make you feel better. But try to cut off contact with him unless it is necessary. Perhaps you can ask someone like your family members to handle when he can see the child/arrange scheduling on your behalf for at least a month or so. That way, you have time to yourself to get better and rediscover yourself first. I know that because you have a child together with him, you will have to eventually be in contact with him. But for now, just take time out for yourself. I don't think his calling to see how you are doing is a good idea because it only adds onto the pain and there is nothing he can do to help.

Hope you feel better.
Sarah

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
In reply to: paradisochick
Sat, 03-08-2008 - 8:45am
thank you sarahmrz.
i know. it's hard knowing i can't be with him, but still having to talk and see him every once and a while. it's not like a normal break up, you know, where i can just say, "okay, see ya, have a nice life!" kind of thing. even knowing that this is the way it'll be for the next two decades or so is very hard to take.
i don't see myself ever getting over him - he was my first love, and admittedly, a very nice, loving person through and through. i feel like i've been the one to mess things up and now i can't take it back and have lost it all. i've pushed him so far away that he can't even remember us ever being happy. it's a hard pill to swallow.
but thank you for your kind words. he's supposed to pick up baby in the next few days, and i'll probably just have my mom hand baby off while i hide out in the bedroom. i was thinking the same thing, but just didn't know what to do.
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