HELP!! Am I Doing the Right Thing??
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| Tue, 08-09-2005 - 1:31pm |
Hi everyone,
It's been a few days since i've written. I'm copying and pasting one of my original posts to here below just to refresh everyone's memory. Basically what's going on is this: I just broke up with my ex of 8 months (you can read the story below). It's only been a few days (it's only been 3 full days so far of absolutely no contact whatsoever). I've been hurting very much over this and struggling like lots of other women here who are trying desperately not to contact their ex's. Everyday I still have to force myself not to contact him. I've been journaling to help with all these feelings, and 3 days with no contact has been very rough, but believe it or not it's an accomplishment for me. Anyway, over the weekend I went to go visit my best friend at her job and I ended up talking to this guy she works with. We kind of hit it off a little bit and we spent the day chatting there. I was supposed to go over her house that night for dinner with her and her boyfriend and daughter, and she ended up inviting him to join us. He did. We all had dinner and watched a movie afterward. When we were leaving he asked if he could have my number and take me to dinner sometime. I'm very scared. He seems like a nice guy, but I JUST got out of my last relationship and am definately not over him yet. I have a bad habit of going out with someone else to take my mind off the last one. The other thing is this... He's younger than me. I'm 28, he's 24. But my ex was 33 and he turned out to be a self centered jerk, so maybe age is just a number? I liked the fact that my ex was established. Owned a home, 2 nice cars, owned his own business, etc. This guy is 4 years younger than me, SAYS he's sick of dating the wrong girls and wants to find the right one, he has his own apartment, works 3 jobs so that he can live well, owns 2 cars also (new cars). I just dont know what I should do. I told the new guy I am very fresh out of a relationship and he said he doesn't mind, he will be patient and that it doesn't have to be so serious, that we can just hang out and get to know each other for a while. I just wanted everyone's opinions on this.
HERE IS MY PREVIOUS POST:
Hi everyone,
I wrote here a couple of times already. I was with my ex for 8 months. Everything went really fast, we fell in love really quickly, even spoke about things like getting married, getting a home together, taking a trip, the future, etc. He treated me like absolute gold, I thought I found the man of my dreams. I was ecstatic. About 4 months into it, he confided in me (and he says I was the only one he ever trusted enough to tell) that he had been addicted to vicodin for over 2 years and he was about to go to the dr to get off the pills because he wanted to be honest and he said he saw a future for us. Things only went downhill from there. To make a very very long story short, he stopped being intimate with me right about then and that part of the relationship never came back. Then he hit me with the "let's just be friends" thing. I couldn't believe it. After everything I went through with him, he said the title was putting pressure on him. Fast forward to now. I've been trying to do it his way, but I just can't be friends. I have boyfriend/girlfriend feelings for him that I can't just turn on and off like a light and I told him that. He's pretty much clean now, and he's a TOTALLY different person. He doesn't seem to care about me at all. We fight all the time, where we never fought before. He treated me totally different now. He's not nice anymore. He never calls when he says he will, he never has time to get together, nothing. He just made it clear that he didn't want a relationship with me anymore and it's just so hard for me to understand. Well, it all came to a head last night. We had a fight on the phone and I hung up on him. I called him back because I felt bad and didn't want to end things like that, and I went to his house. I know it was the wrong thing to do and I shouldn't have done it, but I did. He got upset and said I was scaring him. He said we're 2 different people and he's not as intense as I am and that he has to be honest but he's not going to call me anymore. Then he said "we'll talk, but you need to get over me". I understand that I need to forget him, but now I just feel so stupid for making a fool out of myself and not just leaving gracefully. Why does love make us do such crazy things sometimes? I feel horrible and I know I can't call or email and i'll probably never talk to him again. This is consuming my thoughts all the time, i'm depressed over it, and I just got a new job that I started this week and I can't let it ruin my new opportunity. Please help!!!

I think the best thing to do would be to ask the new guy if you can call him in a couple months.
Sheri